Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML
Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML
Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
Today, the cops showed up at my work because people were fighting in the parking lot. This is a nightly occurrence. FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Damn right they do.
Natalie403 6
Stereotypes xD
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Comments (138)
marinus_fml 20
Damn right they do.
canttouchthis90 0
you do know people shooot fireworks out of their pony tails
iLazy 0
A firework must have been shot in your brain.
futtbuck101 1
Ponytails on ponies seems suspicious
Crystalosophy 0
They look creepy and suspicious.... profiling is there for a reason! lol
VinegarStrokes 0
Yeeeaaah OP, just some friendly advice- you should probably stay away from little kids too... And you most definitely deserve it for having a pony tail, we're not in the late 70s anymore boss. Just don't grow a mustache, as well. For your own safety.
sexysterlingarch 1
uh yea that is suspicious op..
beccusmaximus 0
#16, you look snobby and dumb. Still like profiling?
lilf13rsc 4
YDI for having a pony tail
chesneylovesty 0
baha! I agree(:
Reign_fml 3
"a ponytail on a man says don't **** with me, while pigtails on a man say here, hold these while you **** me" -Daniel Tosh
lunaXXdennice 0
75- that is gross but funny OP you should probably just cut your hair although men with ponytails scare me o_O
emsiti 6
yes yes i do reaponce for 16
yeahbeinterested 0
hilarious!
woosah 16
Ya he got ya there. I mean you fit the profile ;)
NippsSlipps 10
I effing love Daniel tosh. And to all the haters out there for ponytails on men, na na na boo boo stick your head in doodoo I'm better than you
Natalie403 6
Stereotypes xD
iSitt 0
ydi for having a pony tail. esp if you're balding in front.
metfanatic1986 0
because if some asshole would have shot off fireworks, you are gonna assume that male with a ponytail would have done it! so ydi for having a male ponytail
yougotapes 7
time to snip that off
nicobington 1
and If u believe them then your brain is small like a korean penis (yourfavoritemartian)
Football_Man50 1
and if you believe them, then your brain is small like a korean penis.
EvilDoll 7
so do trench coats and mustaches. you should avoid appearances with a social stigma if you don't like people being suspicious of you. or just don't hand around pre schools anymore. that would help too
the_ace1337 0
Trench coats are awesome! I wish I had one...
syki 22
Dude, you look creepy enough as it is. Could be the evil red glow. :P
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
Red? I thought is was pink. I assumed he was gay and needed the trench coat to attend gay porno's without having to wear pants. You know, easy access. lol
DaniBee420 6
lsmall minded people suck!
carnage1108 0
ismall minded people should just go die
iranoutofnames 6
****** ismalls...
blanccamaro74 6
so do people that don't know how to spell
thedevilwithin 0
Well yeah, you can't blame them for thinking that.
hockeyrocks39 0
Maybe the Police were given a suspect description of a male with ponytails.
hobbsicle805 0
yur profile pic turned me on
Tristyxxx 24
Haha 1
mika1010 5
those bastards
ciarafox9 9
he's right though.. almost as suspicious as bald..
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
Ponytails: End of a pony's ass? OKAY Back of a dude's head? NOT OKAY
laurabev 9
Your spelling made me cry.
Shafreeka 8
I really cannot think of many instances where it WAS intentional.
mrwelsh3 0
I make babies cry..
drunkinstl 0
I have a ponytail, and also make 100k a year. You sir, look like a skinny ****** in your picture.