Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
Today, I got extremely winded from adjusting my blanket. What a workout. FML
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
Today, the power went out so my family all stayed together in a one room to keep warm. I was on the bed against the wall and reached my hand down, only to find my panties tucked in the side of my brother's bed. Not one pair, but two. FML
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
Today, I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and realized I had washed an entire pack of tissues with them. Every single piece of clothing was covered in what looked like tiny snowflakes. I now look like I’ve been rolling around in dandruff. FML
Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. Twenty minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, the lack of heating in my room has gotten to the point where I have to cuddle my clothes for the next day at night so they're not freezing when I wake up. FML
Today, my not-quite-potty-trained toddler niece had a 'wee accident' in my bed. I used towels to mop it up and changed the sheets. Later, I had the bright idea to dry it faster by turning the electric blanket on high. Now my room smells like burned urine. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Obviously the universe thought your sex life was dead, so it was trying a little CPR/defibrillation. "Shit, we lost him! Charge to 300! CLEAR!!" *ZAP*
fernclogger 5
Did it turn you on?
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Comments (131)
NyteWolf 7
Charged up and ready to go!
fighterofwar 5
Oooooh, ouch! I hate when my crotch gets sore, though after it's alright. :')
sataris20 5
Static shock in the crotch, 3 milliamps. Whoop-de-frickin'-doo. Stop being a pussy
THE_A_TEEN 28
You have a classic case of "STUPID PSEUDO-MACHO BITCH SYNDROME" or SPMBS. The only known cure is shock therapy and castration by acid to prevent it from spreading.
dabomb1463 0
That is rough hope that doesnt happen again
evilplatypus 39
Anti static dryer sheets = best invention ever
EduJav321 24
Buzzkill: It was probably the metal from your pants' zipper that caused the electricity to go to that specific area
trp2wondrland 9
Buy rubber undies?
bizarre_ftw 22
I simultaneously love and am terrified by your photo
trp2wondrland 9
;)
JustDerpin 11
I know that feel bro.
Llamacod 11
You often shock yourself in the crotch? You have issues
bizarre_ftw 22
Well I'm sure not intentionally! .... *turns to 40* right?
swimmersrok 0
Bet that gave you a sexual charge
bubo_fml 11
Did your willy stand on end?