Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML
Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML
Today, I spent the afternoon painting my bedroom and was really pleased with how it turned out. When I moved the furniture back, I noticed a large patch behind the wardrobe I'd missed. The paint shop had closed, and I had no idea which shade I'd used. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
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Top comments
unrose 1
at least cats have cute paws.
sex_and_drugs 11
ha win
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Comments (156)
SGT_DBL 15
OMG, YDI for SOOOOOOO many reasons this time OP! First, for having a cat. How many FMLs do you see on this site EVERY DAY about cats causing havoc? Compare that to how many FMLs you see for dogs or fish or whatever other pet. There are so many cat FMLs they should get their own category. Anyone who uses this site should know better than to own a cat. You are pretty much asking for it. Secondly, for not keeping careful control of an area you were painting. Paint is messy and has a way of getting where it isn't supposed to go and is a pain to clean up when that happens. Common sense says you shouldn't have had a cat in an area where painting is taking place. There shouldn't have been anyone or anything in that area that didn't need to get painted. You had a cat in there, it got painted. But MOST OF ALL, YDI for painting a room "Barney Purple" in the first place. I mean, SERIOUSLY? BARNEY??? For starters, I didn't think Barney was even around anymore. Everyone hated him even back in the day when he was "popular" and I haven't seen anyone mention him in a serious manner for about ten years now. Then I've got to wonder how old your kid must be to be watching Barney anyway. I'm gonna guess less than five. With every day that goes by she gets one day closer to being too old for Barney. When that day arrives she is going to start nagging you like all hell to paint that room a different color. So from the very get go you condemned yourself to having to paint this room multiple times just because of the color you choose. Unless you happen to enjoy spending large amounts of time in small spaces filled with paint fumes, this was not a smart move. So the end result of all this is that you are going to end up with (some day in the future) an angry, socially inept teenager living in the hallway of your house where she will demand on a daily basis that you repaint the purple room she refuses to live in while you are busy being mauled by a cat. You probably had no idea that choosing the wrong color for a room could distroy so many lives, but it did. YDI.
justanotherbird 19
Holy shit son. You need to slow your roll!
johnnyexpl0sion 0
Cool story bro.
ReynshineCutting 10
There are no words for your stupidity. Please seek professional help.
DontHateAppricia 0
I started to read this then I realized it kept on going and going.
meagaplexxx 0
you wrote a novel
XxSonyaBlade10xX 1
That sneaky devil!! XD
EvanAGD 7
Maybe the cat thought the house could use a little color. :)
Lisa89 3
**** your daughters life for having her room Barney themed :P
rubieeees123 0
that's cute.
Inspired22 11
Did it ever occur to you to make sure that your pets couldn't get in while you are doing something so permanent? That sucks, though!
DomesticAngel 14
Lol, that actually happend to me once too! U had to scrub it off the floor!
Nhk_fml 4
Hahahahahahahaha. That's why you pay attention :P To the people who claim that there are not many fmls about dogs search On the FML website for German I have both a cat and a dog and like them both
mrd10 0
omg so cute
OMFGitschris 3
I hate Barney. the song backwards creeps me out. O.e