Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after seeing my cat struggle to use the litterbox and produce nothing for two days, I caved and took him to the emergency vet, fearing a UTI. It wasn't. $200 and 2 Lyft rides later, he's stoned out of his mind and peeing just fine. FML
Today, I was nervous about taking my cat to the vet for a UTI, because money’s a little tight. Turns out the antibiotics weren’t that expensive, but he wants at least $1,000 for dental surgery she apparently “needs.” FML
Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML
Today, I dropped $1600 at the emergency vet because I thought my 14 year-old cat was constipated or obstructed. He was neither. He just had lots of gas in his intestines. I paid $1600 to find out my cat needed to fart. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML
Today, I'm sitting at the vet's office while they run expensive tests on my cat. This is to make sure he doesn't have a bowel obstruction from eating the condom that my partner and I used last night. FML
Today, I found out after $200 worth of checks and tests, three rugs being ruined from her peeing and pooping on them, that my cat isn't sick. She just has really bad separation anxiety. FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Urinary tract infection. Or in your case, unable to investigate.
fenceme235 0
ohhhh. well guess u can go green and stop buying plastic bags
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Comments (83)
Shawn_Tizzle20 4
My cat does that too! I'm so glad that I'm not alone in this!
roseXthorns 8
Damn. What did you do to mess that cat up so much?
Oritsuru 13
They pee on plastic bags too, isn't it obvious?
llamalpaca382 13
Real life ninja? I bow to you sir...and hope you don't wish to kick my ass >_>
Okayitwasme 0
I'd get a new cat. Animal shelter trade.
xSynergY 8
Your cruel. By the looks of your picture I'd trade you in before the animals
yankfan89 27
You're an asshole. Next time you spill something your parents should get a new child and send you to a shelter
mjcSmartass 0
They should trade you in for a pissy bag.... Wtf do you have two dogs for? They should shit in your mouth!
xSynergY 8
Least your not the only weirdo in your place
muhdoggin 0
Am I the only one that doesn't get this?
superangryandy 2
Yes.
ysostupid 9
I don't get it either, so if you have a uti you like to piss on plastic? Is that a thing?
satph 12
LOL
LA_Barbie 11
Hahaha!! I love your cat.
LA_Barbie 11
Hahaha!! I love your cat.
vegetarian982 0
At least your cat doesn't pee on luggage when you go on vacation
odexy 12
While I understand that cleaning up cat piss sucks, at least you know now to just not leave plastic bags lying around? Problem solved already. When my cat had a UTI he would pee in our tub to let us know. Can't just not leave a tub lying around though xD.
applznoatz 1
At least in the tub you can just rinse it down the drain. My cat likes to pee on dirty towels in the laundry basket. Well, pretty much anything in the laundry basket. I spent $80 at the vet to find out there was no UTI, she's just being a bitch.
odexy 12
XD I completely forgot but another cat I had used to piss on my dirty laundry too haha. She would sleep in my clean clothes and pee on the dirty ones. Silly kitty.
iftheglovefits 0
OMG love ur profile picture!!