Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
Today, I found out my mom is still cheating on my dad with her ex boyfriend from her teenage years. She was caught last year, but apparently it's still going on. FML
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
Today, I overheard my parents arguing over who had to tell me that I'm adopted. FML
Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML
Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML
Today, a misunderstanding led to me falsely accusing my husband of cheating. We cleared it up and he forgave me and everything, but my parents are still convinced that he cheated, and won't believe me when I say he wasn't. FML
Today, I found out the truth about my parents’ divorce and why our family is so distant. Turns out my dad had an affair with not one, but two of my mom’s sisters. And that my youngest cousin is also my half-sister. FML
Today, I realized what terrible people my parents are. They divorced because they were having knockdown, dragged out fights over constantly cheating on each other. Now they’re cheating on their current spouses… with each other. My stepparents deserve so much better. FML
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Top comments
Kalipczo 21
Well at least they're honest with each other.
FailBear920 19
Sounds like mom gets around. Sorry Op FYL
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Comments (127)
tj5810 21
Classy folks.
ladylilly25 20
How many times did she cheat?
savage93 11
3 times.
PhishloverA 14
Actually 2 1/2
Enslaved 38
Would have been 3 but he -Jizzed in His Pants, first.
Skinwalker131 5
Is there a chance he isn't really your father? What if it's the mail man? Or the pool cleaner? Or the pizza delivery man?
Airman1988 9
Or Darth Vader...
JAMSM 6
Or the milkman. Or the doctor. Or the Walmart greeter.
Son_of_a_biscuit 4
Or the UPS man
JAMSM 6
Or Bane.
LupeTabasco 5
or your uncle.
NeonPopRocks 14
Her uncle would be her moms brother....
SillyGirl4602 23
... Or their dad's brother
anythingmustbe 18
I guess they both took the meaning to fight fire with fire way to literal.
BeanBrick 10
"Literal" must not mean what you think it means.
upsidedownn 8
Oy. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
TipOfTheHat 10
Quality family values
loserman67 36
DAD: YOU *****! MOM: BULLSHIT, I'M FAR MORE FAITHFUL THAN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN! DAD: WHAT? I ****** THE BABYSITTER AND THE NEIGHBOR'S DAUGHTER, THAT'S IT! MOM: WELL I ONLY ****** THE NEIGHBOR, HIS BROTHER, HIS WIFE, THE MILkman, the garbage man... MOM: Oh shit, you win
SenselessPattern 12
Usually these third person conversations are hit or miss, but I think you really nailed it on this one.
RobbinBrothels 7
I wonder what sparked the argument. I'm guessing either "what are we going to watch on Netflix or who gave who crabs...this time...
vbmg152 19
Wow!
2dog 15
That's.... kinda pathetic....
ICastillo 25
I know this isn't the place, But you have beautiful eyes.
2dog 15
Thank you!!!
dale3825 4
Wow that is all I can say