Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to catch a plane. I got halfway to the airport when I realized I'd forgotten my phone. I drove back to the house and searched for it. I finally gave up and returned to the airport, only to find that I was 10 minutes late for my plane. Just then, my pocket vibrated. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
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Top comments
OperationNicole_fml 0
She carries a vibrator in her purse. Whoa that's pretty intense, can't wait to get home?
W33nie 0
Why are there so many vibrator stories
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Comments (80)
carmel 0
yeah, um, so I'm Australian and I'm pretty sure this website is American. Can someone tell me, um..........is a vibrator one of those penises that vibrates for..........pleasure? lol
owlowl 0
#43 - yes, but we do have vibrators in australia, just to let you know.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
and this site was started in France btw.
Shenannigoats 16
...we do have vibrators in Australia, you know. What does being Australian have to do with anything? Also, not all vibes are shaped like cocks.
Moniquake 4
lmao. i used to look through my moms purse once and guess what i found, a *****. :X
Shenannigoats 16
YDI for snooping :3
av232 0
*shivers*
dan148 0
Is ur mom hot cuz she can play with me anytime hahahahahaha
iSmellNice 2
Get a job if you need to ask your mom for money
_musical_addict_ 0
Okay so this is like the third vibrator-in-purse story I've read. I ask again: Honestly, who the **** thinks it's a good idea to carry a VIBRATOR in their purse???
dipkull 0
Ugh, this happened to me too! Only that it wasn't vibrating... I just saw it. Got over it though, I'm sure you will too. I'd forgotten... just remembered now cause I read this.
MadeOfAwesome 1
Was it like a portable vibrator? For sexual pleasure "on the go"? Lmao XD
demolitionloverf 0
#2
GCali4 0
hahahahah