Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to catch a plane. I got halfway to the airport when I realized I'd forgotten my phone. I drove back to the house and searched for it. I finally gave up and returned to the airport, only to find that I was 10 minutes late for my plane. Just then, my pocket vibrated. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
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Top comments
OperationNicole_fml 0
She carries a vibrator in her purse. Whoa that's pretty intense, can't wait to get home?
W33nie 0
Why are there so many vibrator stories
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Comments (80)
iammeanttolive 0
I am sorry you had to experience that.
dsnelf 0
Never ever go into a womans handbag, even if they tell you too.
toaster468 0
she is a woman too why don't you look at the SEX of the person!?! So she should know is that like the craze wit all the moms? carry around ******? maybe she shows her boss and that's why she gets promoted alot!
rawblerawble 0
that's why you never EVER look into women's handbags. They are like men's pandora's box except there is no hope inside.
toaster468 0
only ****** and money
pippacrawford 4
You'd think a guy would like that....
lolol182 4
never know when she might need it
foolishwolf 0
hahaha @ #13
kellster 2
Bravo to your mom for still being a sexual person! If you can't handle that, you need to grow up a little. It means there may be hope for your sexual vitality when your her age!
Herropreez17 0
At #16 if you found a vibrator in your moms purse you could be 50 years old or 10 years old, its still disgusting. Also how would you react if that happened to you? I doubt you would praise your mom in that situation.
asterificious 0
#16 lol, true. But i prefer keeping the image of my mom as a 'mother' rather than a 'woman'
pinkfrenchrose 5
Where would she use it...? The ladies' room...? O_O
bamabum12345 0
i declare shenanigans on this story
code2264 0
now I must get my broom
seano2101 0
why does she carry it around with her?