Today, I nearly got shitcanned for falling asleep on the job. The only reason I was so dead tired was because my idiot roommates decided to get high last night and loudly argue for hours about stupid crap like "Is it gay to screw a clone of yourself?" I got less than 2 hours of sleep because of them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML
Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML
Today, I almost got fired from my job because I was caught "sleeping" during a virtual meeting. I wasn't asleep; I was on mute, and my internet froze while I was mid-yawn. It took a while for my boss to grapple with and understand the concept, but still… FML
Today, after studying for an exam, I decided to take a short nap. Just then, our neighbors, who were a couple, argued like crazy about some dumb thing the guy did. I didn't get to rest at all. FML
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
Today, while working from home, I was super drowsy after a heavy bar hangout with the boys. I took a call from a customer. Next thing I know, the call was no longer there. My boss called me to tell me they left a one-star review on our site, saying I fell asleep and snored mid-call. Yes, I was fired. FML
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, I was fired for falling asleep at work. I’m still not sure how I fell asleep, seeing as I’m a stocker and I was actively putting cans on the shelf when it happened. FML
Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML
Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
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Top comments
jamieblue6 16
It's not gay, it's masturbation XD
Tripartita 45
Well, don't keep us in suspense! What was the verdict?! It's not like I care for any part—yes, hold on Tripartita 2.0, I'll be back in a second!—icular reason or anything… I'm just curious.
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Comments (51)
writergirl1029 17
Pot is still (somehow) not legal in Oregon. You could report them to your landlord or the police.
Bibliovore 26
Good luck, OP. Until you can either move out or move them out, it might be worth investing in some earplugs and/or a white-noise machine.
mariri9206 32
Ear plugs are a wondrous, majestic thing and do the trick. Until recently, I had to share a room with my sister and, sometimes, she would snore, which made me not able to sleep. So I invested in some ear plugs and they worked. I didn't hear her snoring, but I was able to hear my alarm.
Tannasgh 22
In ear headphones with silicon earbud ends and nice thunder sound app helps me every time
bilboswaggins2 10
It's not gay it's just masturbation lol.
Haremjutsu 15
Having sex with a clone of yourself is definitely gay. It's like having sex with a twin. Even though it is an exact replica of you, it is still a separate human.
keif_623 10
What part of Oregon!? I'm from Oregon sounds like some idiot friends of mine lmao
Ray_of_midnight 23
A very long time ago, when it turned out that I was the only person in my circle of friends who had a well-paying job that required that I be at a specific place at a specific time in the morning, awake and reasonably alert and able to function...that was a pretty big wake-up call that I needed different friends.
ssnow_fml 20
Well, what did they decide?!
Witchylady 18
I love on 2 hours of sleep practically every night. You'll get used to it.