Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
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Top comments
ninjaCarebear 17
Jackass.
LiveLaughFML 10
"you must be blind to be going out with him." "yeah, she is." *nervous chuckle* "I mean, what does she see in y--" "wait--no,"
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Comments (174)
Saltime 0
I hope she hit you with her white cane.
puppytaco64 8
You should have asked "What does she see in you?"
nickiforever21 0
Oh come on. You and eye both know that's not funny. Yeah lame pun.
Saltime 0
Yeah, that pun was really cornea.
fatraptorjesus13 9
anne frankly I do Nazi the humor in that...oh shit wrong pun
RabidBunny 10
There might be hope for me yet! Anyways, don't feel bad, how the hell were you supposed to know she was blind? Unless she a dog on a leash leading the way, than I wouldn't worry about it.
RabidBunny 10
*had
panda1o 0
Nice going, jerk.
mileyfan17 8
That mean you should really watch what u say
sugarkiller_fml 6
No one is perfect.
NomOnShroomz 14
Except me.
NomOnShroomz 14
Except me.
sugarkiller_fml 6
Is she genetically blind or temperarily?
DocBastard 40
What difference does that make??
sugarkiller_fml 6
It decides the possibility their babies born to be blind.
anencephalic 14
Oh, the irony when someone claiming to be tired of stupid comments write an utterly stupid comment.
Marcella1016 32
Doc at first glance your Coke bottle looks like a penis.
DocBastard 40
anencephalic - There's nothing stupid about my comment at all. It's a simple question without malice, and one that still has yet to be answered rationally.
shelbyyyy11 0
does it matter....? this about OP being a jackass, not whether or not his friend is going to have a blind baby.
LevyLove 17
I think he was just asking....?
perdix 31
Tell him to give you a hundred bucks or you'll tell her how ugly he really is. She may be blind, but she doesn't want to be seen by the rest of the world with a troll.
GetPuckedUp 3
the OP had no way of knowing the girl was really blind. i hope you apologized your ass off. offer to buy them dinner or something.
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Sad...
CSRozell 4
are you the girlfriend?
zombicidal 11
do they put fml in Braille
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Thanks?