Today, I met a nice girl and decided to ask her out. Later on she showed me a picture of her with her family, she was wearing red and everyone else black. I said jokingly "you look like the adopted child" only to find out that her had parents died and she was indeed adopted. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML
Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML
Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML
Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML
Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML
Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML
Today, I went on a short date with a new girl in the office, who everyone thought was a tad bit odd. Also today, she showed me the names of our future children. FML
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML
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Top comments
airbornerose 0
People are too sensitive.
myhairynutsack 0
Enough adopted FML's already. Being adopted is a blessing, the greatest gift anyone can get in that situation.
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Comments (55)
bosshaug 0
Haha nice alex
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for comparing the girl's eyes to Clay Aiken's.
vadersky94 0
are you still going out?
hairytoenails 0
ydi for being a llama
DameGreyWulf 1
I would have never have said that... no really, you should have said something wittier. Would still have implied she was standing out, but the point remains that wasn't very funny or witty.
CFR 0
That's okay, my family always jokes that I was adopted because there are absolutely no baby pictures of me. Like...none. Until I turned two, invented my own language, and (I've just discovered) started talking to mice, then I became interesting =P
anjyu22 0
Are adopted jokes the new "your mom"? Do people really say this stuff??
tryfailtryget11 0
hey i really really sorry. if you read my fml the same thing happened to me. i guess we just got to watch what we say :(
DameGreyWulf 1
Really? 'Cause last time I checked, life's pretty sucktacular and pointless. Not saying I'm going to go off myself now, I mean that not existing at all in the first place... well jeez you wouldn't even KNOW you didn't exist so can't see how you can fail there. Not having to deal with life as we've made it is just a plus then. Some people say the whole struggle of mankind is some great and inspiring story, but really it's just a long hike you didn't have a choice in starting that you get tired of pretty fast but you've still got quite a ways to go. Again, not trying to sound emo or some shit, I'm just saying... which is logically better; experiencing good things but with a lot of bad things, or not experiencing anything at all and not even KNOWING there were good and bad things to experience anyway? Of course once you're alive for sure, concious and everything, it's pretty pussy to back out on it. Also how the hell is she just being sensitive when her parents DIED and she had to be adopted? She wasn't just dumped on someone's doorstep; her parents had every intention of keeping her. Reading fail.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
stick to dead baby jokes, man. s'what I been tellin people for years. at least you get a shock laugh or 2.