Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, it appears that when in high school I made one of those "If we're unmarried at 35, we should marry each other" deals. Well, this afternoon she turned up at my house. I'm not married, but I have a pregnant girlfriend. She claimed a girlfriend doesn't count so our promise is still binding. And yes, she had the crazy eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML
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Top comments
Brukernavn 0
Note to self: Don't marry while still a horny teenager.
escualida 0
YDI for marrying someone because of a threat... grow a pair!
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Comments (269)
lkb307 21
F the bitch. let her do it leave her for the other one or no one but run run very fast
alr158 18
Wish we had a follow up on this one, how did it end?
Martnikk 15
Why do you care if the b'tch kills herself. Don't miss this chance OP
BigD3452 6
Call her bluff. And if its not a bluff you still win. Just don't reproduce with that one for the sake of us all
cherro 5
Go put her in one of those homes for the mentally disabled and then file for a divorce If that doesn't work then sorry bud can't help ya
Rianokami 22
Take the dare. Accept the challenge.
Schala360 27
Just leave your wife,its not your problem if she kills herself
Mooglefox 24
If there aren't any kids in that marriage, leave her
fantasyworld 39
Tell the cops about it. She's also emotionally abusing you.
MidnightThorn 2
Get divorced anyways, send her into an asylum and be done with her already! Don't let her dictate your life, idiot...