Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML
Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
Today, I opened my lunch at work to discover that my sandwich was a soggy mess. The Tupperware I'd put it in was a piece of crap, and all the mayo had leaked out. I tried to salvage it but then spilled the whole thing in my lap. I ended up eating my lunch with a plastic fork, and even my fingers, like an angry animal. FML
Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML
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Top comments
Miss_Michaela 10
You need to 'trainer' on how to throw food she's not gonna eat into the bin. ;) Or the compost heap. Hopefully she won't have to 'sneaker' food into hiding places. I'm sure the food was 'boot'iful. Have a 'converse'ation about it, but don't let it turn 'ugg'ly. And all will be well... ington.
ladiesman219 4
lol something tells me your a bad lunch maker
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Comments (70)
nlr 9
that's why my mom never forced me and my sisters to eat! we were hungry she'd make us something we were full we'd get up and put our plate on the counter or in the fridge and go play! we never finished our food it usually took us about 3 days to finish our afternoon sandwich when we were 12...
bbucaro98 0
thats cuz ur a lesbo
nlr 9
um no im not! i have an eating disorder thank you very much! and I have a boyfriend and we've been together for 3 years now!
Dekat121 24
#30 how the hell does being a lesbian change the fact what and how she eats?
jenaandtyler4eva 0
haha owned and maybe you should make her Learn some respect and that everyone isn't so lucky to have a house or food and that people are homeless and are starving on the streets and dieing...
Jrefinne 7
When kids don't like their food, they'll find creative ways of getting rid of it.
Livinia 11
She needs to find a better hiding spot.
SteelCladAngel 0
haha that's kinda cute!
ImInABox 6
Did this make anyone else think of the Spongebob episode where he got the suds and Patrick put peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on his feet?
miker1000 0
lol win
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Yes. It actually does.
RainbowHeadache 2
My cousin would throw her corn to her dog when I wasnt looking. I was wondering why she was giggling for 10 minutes before I caught her throwing it. She was a sneaky little shit.
lmaoatall 6
she was just being creative and made herself a foot long. actually, p o s does sound good right now.
xrainbowshadowx 17
She probably wasn't hungry anymore and wanted to go play, she's just a child. It's a bit cute though, and a very original hiding place (;
Monikabug 9
^ Don't believe this guy, you definitely won't be okay!