Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML
Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet. I reached in both front and back to pull up her pants for her. "Not too hard, nice and easy..." she said with a weird smile. I looked over to see I was actually pulling her nipple. FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML
Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML
Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Oh wow. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
jio_freed 0
You must have magic fingers
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Comments (234)
rocker8877 0
O_O
Cittenscollar 0
Oh God... I'm sorry
babaa_fml 0
... can someone help me think of a pun for this? It would be so perfect
Vasir 2
20 - Kudos to you. i lold
SoundlessWorld 0
Hahaha. I agree with #4.
teheheois 0
Dear god ! why you work there !?!
Poser1337 5
Because he cares for others and isn't selfish.
F_Y_Comments 0
That's going to be awkward next time, she'll be expecting it. Try a cold wash cloth in future? Above all EWW no-LOL
Almodine 0
I can see you walking past her room today... "Hey sonny! Rip off mah diapaa and doo it again, sonny!"
1waytoolive 1
lmfao
cherry_blossom 0
OP: sucks for you. #20: pahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! =D
coopcas 0
Did you call her the day after?