Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door and not getting a response, I opened it and walked in. Upon entering their house and yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding clothes while watching TV. She was topless. FML
Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML
Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML
Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
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Top comments
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
Some things just cannot be unheard OP. Maybe it's time to distance yourself.
Redoxx_fml 22
Bet you wish you were deaf
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Comments (110)
MELKOZAR 27
Sorry OP. At least it wasn't some random guy.
Garrett2818 21
I honestly feel like that would be a little better, still creepy as **** though.
davincidasecond 24
Personally I would rather a random creeper than my own grandfather.
bapbap_fml 15
It would have been significantly less creepy for it to have been some random guy.
allplayedout 20
If it were some random guy, she probably would've never had to find out about it
bibble27 9
Maybe 11 meant a random stranger would be in better health and could pose more of a threat? - shrugs-
aredvulpix 23
Idk... what to even say. Maybe it was a different Tara. In that case it would still be gross but not as gross
Garrett2818 21
This is wrong on all levels.
souneshi 10
Oh god. I'm sorry, OP.. don't stay alone with him.
crudeandrudeguy 29
Remarkably off topic, but I absolutely love your hair!!!!;-D
karrtoffel 13
Run. just run away. Tara, RUN AWAY!
iamaweaome 12
i agree
Hildy93 21
Maybe that's like a stripper name of someone...
dsmithds7 13
Maybe he was watching television and was just calling for you! .. No? I'm trying to be optimistic okay.
writerchic85 26
That's really sick. His own granddaughter? Get out of there and tell your parents.
klutz44 28
Yes! Someone with common sense! Definitely tell your parents, this is not ok.
catherinecas 30
Hopefully he knows a lady his age named Tara. Or is really turned on by plantation houses.
that_guy31 12
nasty