Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML
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Top comments
starile 20
You KNOW he did that on purpose. I'm going to do that to my grandchildren, God willing.
Doortje 30
Wow, that must have been traumatizing :|
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Comments (66)
purplepurls 2
ew thats just nasty. your grandpa must be a pedo or something :/
untoward 0
He's not a pedo. That's his idea of male bonding. Let's just hope he washed his hands.
Bobissmall 13
How the hell do you work that out? OP could be like 20 or something.
toxicbeer 0
gross
PurplePeeps 0
Yea. The definition of a pedophile has changed. It now refers to an elderly gentleman who leisurely relates his hook-ups with dear old grandma to his distraught young grandson. Doesn't anybody watch the ******' news?
macskapingvin 0
If he was a paedo, why would he be enthuastically describing the fantastic sex with his wife, rather than the great time he had with the boys at choir practise? Duh.
ashleyjade12 9
How does that make him a pedo you ignorant ****?
VivaLaCobra22 0
that's naaaaasty.
Doortje 30
Wow, that must have been traumatizing :|
Ella_fml 17
Traumatizing for the grandpa: Today, I'm blind, and had to not only putting up with my grandson's moans, but actually had to inform him of the disgusting smell of sex and sweat. It is hard to breathe in this house.. FML.
Ella_fml 17
Times like this I wish I could delete my own comments:(
Doortje 30
It's okay Ella, we all make mistakes now and then ;)
Mubus 0
blind grandpa who is a dentist /sarcasm
teogaga 3
it's even sadder when he says it with his hands in ur mouth!! who knows where those hands've been!
phatdaddy62 23
I think we know where his hands have been.
phatdaddy62 23
I think we know where his hands have been.
starile 20
You KNOW he did that on purpose. I'm going to do that to my grandchildren, God willing.
KoRnLeader 0
godspeed snowcone, Godspeed.
TheDrifter 24
I take it your grandpa likes to watch people try to swallow vomit with a mouth full of dentist's equipment?
Feverrotes 15
I'd be more concerned about the equipment he's using. You never know where they were last night or if they were even cleaned. They might have been in your grandma's "second" mouth, if you know what I mean.
FMLandurstoo 9
YDI for having grandparents
captcharlest 0
sweeet..... gettin drilled while talking bout drilling your grandmother. awesome props to the old man
perdix 31
At least your mouth will be clean when you kiss Granny on the lips. Either ones.
LoveMySoldier82 0
My parents loved doing that to us so we started doing it back when we got older. That is when we started the term "keep your personal shit personal!!"