Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML
Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
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Top comments
Hannah_fml 0
If I knew my sister was reading my texts I would tell my boyfriend to send a message exactly like that, she shouldn't be reading my texts, and if she does she's gonna she something she probably doesn't want to.
ze_fml 0
Honestly, you're all putting the guy/girl down because he/she saw a text. But, come on, the stains were on his/her sleeping bag whether he/she read the text or not. That's FML material.
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Comments (33)
pingpongpickle 8
you know what I hate more than snoopers? people who have sex in my sleeping bag and don't wash it. that's nasty, stop being jerks to op about looking at her sisters phone.maybe she said she could use it and the message happened to be up
katiebaby0910 0
haha that's great ;)
bullrider92 19
So,you have had to sleep in the "wet"spot.Get her back.Go have sex in her bed.
jnharris 2
I'm with 22 only use a painball gun.
Kforest 0
her sleeping bag now lol
mattrd_fml 31
YDI for being nosey.
Anonymousbeing 15
Who said they used the sleeping bag?
teacupofsunshine 29
Make them buy you a new and improved sleeping bag!
Dannie1308 11
Just give them the sleeping bag and get yourself a new, better one and don't let anyone borrow that one. :)