Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
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Top comments
lakerfan8224 17
That's going in your son's suppressed memory
Skittles_Rawr 8
You raised her... Don't blame your balls.
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Comments (182)
TahoeFMler 22
He's 5, safe assumption, she's 15ish at the oldest. She's shouldn't know that much. Dumbass.
alphaskater09 9
Wait, are u saying that a 15 year old shouldn't know what **** and balls look like? I learned that shit in health class and I watched a lot of **** at a very young age.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Or, you know, she could be 7-9. You don't have to be a teenager to start baking.
georgia97 2
But he was letting her bake the cake on her own.. You know. A 7-9 year old shouldn't be doing that by herself.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
158- I started baking at around seven or eight because I was mature enough and knew what I was doing. Maybe his daughter isn't any different. Really, if his daughter is using boxed cake mix, it's a piece of cake (pun intended). My mom would measure out the ingredients for me ahead of time and send me into the kitchen. It happens, you know. His daughter probably took out the first cake pan she found. They obviously kept it in plain sight.
lolfood 24
Your son is going to give the cake a *******.
anedderm 4
Can we talk about the fact that your calling your daughter a moron while having a penis cake pan laying around...
Axipiter 24
We probably can, right after you learn the difference between "your" and " you're". Also, questions have question marks after them.
anedderm 4
Thanks for the grammar lesson
EMTchic 14
it didn't necessarily have to be a penis-shaped pan . maybe she's just a good cake artist .
rcgirl2 11
He want that cake cake cake cake cake cake cake.
holymackeral 12
Youre a dick for calling your daughter a moron. Asshole
xRedRockerx 5
Calling your daughter a moron? Not using your own sweat and blood to bake his damn cake? I hope he smushes your face in it.
chrissoto312 2
And just imagine. That one was the fastest swimmer out of them all. Lol.
perdix 31
She'd better not have used red frosting. And even a stupid five-year-old kid would know that the balls ruin the aerodynamics of the rocket. Auxiliary fuel tanks? Naw, the kid ain't gonna buy that.
eccentrix 12
That's the exhaust from the launch.
EMTchic 14
he SHOULD recognize it, he's had his own set his whole life . I mean, my cousin is 2 and he recognizes a penis . he's too young to know ALL about it, but he knows what it is .
candylandy 1
Why would you call your daughter that?
beccaishereyay 11
Good parenting skills. Get mad at your daughter for making a penis cake yet talk about your balls online like its no big deal.