Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
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Top comments
lakerfan8224 17
That's going in your son's suppressed memory
Skittles_Rawr 8
You raised her... Don't blame your balls.
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Comments (182)
eccentrix 12
Without reading the comments and re-reading what she said, I would've assumed she was about seven.
summer49 0
How old is your daughter?
mycatsarecrazy 5
You're the moron buddy.
firefighterjohn 9
wow what a *****. how old is she to do that.
THE_A_TEEN 28
How is making a cake and decorating it as a rocket equals *****? ****** are sex machines, OP's daughter doesn't sound whorish.
kitty292 9
If the daughter is old enough to bake a cake for her brother's party, I'm pretty sure she's old enough to understand that a penis cake is inappropriate for a child's birthday party. That was moronic of her. And nowhere does it say that OP told his daughter that she's a moron.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I started baking around six or seven. And I didn't know what a penis looked like. And I'm sure most six or seven year old girls don't either.
kitty292 9
I suppose your parents expected you drop the cake off later too. And I also suppose that on a normal basis parents ask their seven year olds to bake cakes for their younger siblings' birthday parties. Also, if she knew she had to frost it to make it look different, then she knew it was a stupid thing to do.
jayhawkchik 4
Lol. And just think..THAT'S the sperm that WON!
BrysGirl27 14
My best friend made it a tradition to bake me a penis cake every year...a new flavor each time -.- with filling in the tip:..
linkinpark98 24
I had a penis shaped cake before.... But that was only because it was the only pan we had to cook with..... Yeah, my father bought a penis shaped cooking pan. ._.
quontag 15
So you let your daughter eat penis cake?
dancer4moon 8
Who let her see the image of one such thing