Today, I lent my parents a copy of "The Dark Knight", saying it was one of my favorite movies so they needed to watch it. A bit later my mom called... Apparently my roommate wanted to watch it as well, but couldn't find the case to his porno and decided to just use the Batman case instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, my friend had invited me to his home for a movie night with another friend. I had to decline because I have prior plans. He then revealed that they only wanted me there so I could bring DVDs, but "don't worry, we'll find something on Netflix to watch instead." FML
Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML
Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML
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Top comments
theMIGHTYduck 0
way to check the case ;)
depechemode 0
That surely made your father's pencil.. appear, didn't it?
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Comments (79)
OHHgreatttt 0
hahha stupid roommate!
Zhejan 0
That's a "dark night" if you know what I mean
blacky10gir 0
The moral to this story, never judge the disc by its cover or else you might give **** to your parents.
theMIGHTYduck 0
way to check the case ;)
fmh123 0
LOL
depechemode 0
That surely made your father's pencil.. appear, didn't it?
the_stereotype 0
why so serious?
plexico 4
Was it about 7 minutes later? That's the average amount of time people watch hotel **** until it has served its purpose. Shame on your dad for not letting your mom get off some more big O's. He needs to learn a little about control.
nazooer 11
Lol, plexico...
redbluegreen 41
Your roommate be Robin' your parents of some Batman. Wow. I should probably get my head checked for this.
redbluegreen 41
Don't you frown at me! And here I was, going to invite you to my FML sleepover.
allmidnighteyes 11
FML sleepover? :o But I thought we had one of those every night... Popping kernels and buttering corn ring a bell to you?
Intoxicunt 6
Popping caps and buttering your mom, what? Oh sorry. Don't listen to them, by "sleepover" they mean "be our prisoner and live in the basement....over". I got dibs on the movie picking!
redbluegreen 41
It's warmer in the basement... -Gets iPod- Missy, remember last time you got to pick the movies? Those stains on the carpet are still there. And I had to buy a new bed.
Intoxicunt 6
You're no fun! PG13 is for looooooooosers! I live in a basement and it's cold as ****. Also, now the carpet matches the drapes.
jhb33 4
Haha
allmidnighteyes 11
This one is such bullshit. There are variations of this all over the internet. However, in the case that it IS true, let's hope Daddy was still able to make his pencil disappear somewhere.
redbluegreen 41
Shame on you Alan! I was actually planning to replace all the movies with **** just to trip up my parents. And I prefer to say garter snake over pencil. Brown chicken, brown cow?
allmidnighteyes 11
You mean like "Four Getting Sarah Marshall"?
depechemode 0
Tsss... stealing my joke. Hehehe.
redbluegreen 41
You make me want to kill babies, Mode.
allmidnighteyes 11
...and **** 'em afterwards?
depechemode 0
That's something I would always encourage. It seems I have finally found my first follower.
allmidnighteyes 11
I wouldn't encourage that too much. There'll be times when your crimes seem almost unforgivable. And this time is one of them. Don't give in to sin.
depechemode 0
Well yeah, I am just into strange love like that, you know?
allmidnighteyes 11
I guess you give it again and again, hoping that they'll return it.
depechemode 0
Yeah, still in the process of giving, the returning doesn't seem to work that well yet, I am afraid. Pedo-Necrophilia seems like a non-reciprocal affair sadly. But well, I have to make this live liveable, I will make it worthwhile for them, as long as they make my heart smile:)
leisl14 0
not even close to being funny
DameGreyWulf 1
AHAHAHA that's too great. I don't care how often this happens, because god help us all it does happen, it's hilarious every time.
iDx_Undaunted 0
Was it back door ***** 9
really_thatsucks 0
WIN!
olisykes_ 0
M-my pre-ci-ous.
fxdxhk90 0
And when your roomate tried to watch **** he got Lord of the Rings instead, right?