Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML
Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML
Today, imagine you’re trying to be conscious about your spending habits, but you’re sad and so you decide to buy food, even though you have food at the house, then you eat it, enjoy it… then throw it all up. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
ceddyz17 10
sounds like a feast for a champion
barlessprison 16
You mean you had to experience it to figure out it was a bad idea?
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Comments (215)
jwilli_fml 0
wow..so you're 4 years old, fat, and didn't think that that would happen??..I mention the age because you can't spell for shit
bubblesandbeatle 0
Must be some pretty smart 4 year old if they can spell like that!
ritbbehindu 0
win
Keyman1212 14
So how far was it?! Don't leave me with a cliffhanger like that
jwilli_fml 0
wow..so you're 4 years old, fat, and didn't think that that would happen??..I mention the age because you can't spell for shit
rocketeer_97 1
learnt is a word dumbass. people from other countries have different ways of spelling. so go cry in a corner and just stfu.
Bassmasterclassi 2
I'm lovin it
MuffyStJacques 0
If I ate all of that, I would have vomited even before going to the gym. x_x
osf777 2
Learnt will soon be a word thrown out of all American-English dictionaries as it is an antiquated term, but fear not Scrabble players, it still exists for now.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Sounds more like you should be giving exercise instructions on what not to do.
sheethapins 13
Was it as tasty the second time as it was the first? And on the bright side, you DID work it off at the gym.
perdix 31
The vomiting was your best idea. There is no way you can undo that amount of calories on a treadmill (unless you stay on for 6-8 hours.) When you eat like that, you need to sprawl on a couch and watch TV. Start eating healthy food and then go to the gym!
marud 7
Perdix strikes again!
pookiemoomoo 0
don't ever eat mcdonalds that shot can kill you they put cow anus in there burgers :O I know that cause my cusin works there
MelPru 15
lol that would explain why their burgers taste like shit
lemoncows 2
you seem to know a lot of things except for how to spell.
gandhislayer 6
why in the hell is everybody on here a damn spelling nazi? good god gimme a break! people make mistakes. get the **** over it.
a_nutritionist 10
eating anuses can kill you? damn, sucks for anyone with a rimming fetish...