Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML
Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML
Today, imagine you’re trying to be conscious about your spending habits, but you’re sad and so you decide to buy food, even though you have food at the house, then you eat it, enjoy it… then throw it all up. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ceddyz17 10
sounds like a feast for a champion
barlessprison 16
You mean you had to experience it to figure out it was a bad idea?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (215)
bfflrhea 0
******* dumbass...
lolmyendoff456 7
wow harsh :
wickedlyevil96 0
first, its learned. second ur a fat ass for eating that much so pretty much, YDI
instantmusic 4
Ｇｌａｒｉｎｇ ＹＤＩ， ｉｔｓ ｏｂ
instantmusic 4
Ｏｄｄ， ｓｉｔｅ ｆｒｏｚｅ ｄｕｒｉｎｇ ｓｕｂｍｉｔ． Ｉ ｆｉｇｕｒｅｄ ｉｔ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｊｕｓｔ ｋｉｌｌ ｔｈｅ ｍｅｓｓａｇｅ ｉｎｓｔｅａｄ ｏｆ ｔｒｕｎｃａｔｉｎｇ ｉｔ． Ａｎｙｗｈｏ， Ｇｌａｒｉｎｇ ＹＤＩ， ｉｔｓ ｏｂｖｉｏｕｓｌｙ ｎｏｔ ａ ｇｏｏｄ ｉｄｅａ ｔｏ ｈｉｔ ｔｈｅ ｔｒｅｄｍｉｌｌ ｈａｒｄ ｏｎ ａｎ ｅｍｐｔｙ ｓｔｏｍａｃｈ． Ｏｎ ａ ｂｒｉｇｈｔｅｒ ｎｏｔｅ， ｅｘｐｅｌｌｉｎｇ ａｌｌ ｔｈａｔ ｊｕｎｋ ｇｉｖｅｓ ｙｏｕ ａ ｃｈａｎｃｅ ｔｏ ｒｅｃｏｎｃｉｌｅ ｙｏｕｒ ｍｉｓｔａｋｅ ａｎｄ ｆｕｌｌ ｙｏｕｒ ｇｕｔ ｗｉｔｈ ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ ｍｏｒｅ ｈｅａｌｔｈｙ！
penguinazul 13
Damn, I'm fat, and I don't eat like that. OP has a problem. *nods*
YayaInLalaLand 0
The term, "learnt", is very old English. So, in modern times, it would be "Today, I learned...". Maybe OP was trying to sound smart by using it. Who knows. BTW, YDI for eating all the crap, and then deciding it was unhealthy. Fail.
rainport 0
that sucks you should hav had som patos and milk so it wouldent go as far and wouldent hurt as much
drumchick4ever7 0
why in the world would you eat all that junk? i say karma got you!!
FMLsOhilarious 6
Um....yeah. That was dumb of you.
Greenster 0
Your body rightly expelled all the terrible bulls**t you put in it. If anything, your body should have written this fml for having such a dumb host in the brain.
BadKitty13 28
BARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ! Y.D.I.