Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML
Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML
Today, imagine you’re trying to be conscious about your spending habits, but you’re sad and so you decide to buy food, even though you have food at the house, then you eat it, enjoy it… then throw it all up. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
ceddyz17 10
sounds like a feast for a champion
barlessprison 16
You mean you had to experience it to figure out it was a bad idea?
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Comments (215)
millionaire93 0
sounds like a personal problem
rykerman33 0
women...
YankeesUniverse 0
YDI for being a pig!
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
FYL for sure, a huge embarrassment, but a better FML.... if you were a person next to the puker, and got puked ON!!
denvan 0
I could picture that on Matrix motion lol
star3014 0
know your limits!
RobinDiekmann 0
Filthy swine you are.
lovelyprudence 0
haha oh no!
penguinazul 13
BTW, what are twisties? I've never heard of those. I'm assuming that its junk food thats not available in the US. Someone enlighten me, please!
awardZu 0
YDI, but I wish I could have seen that! I would have laughed at you so hard!!!