Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML
Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo has learned to cry like the baby in the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I saw two crows in a park using their beaks to kiss each other. A fucking crow gets more action than I do. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JMichael 26
It's like when you feed a stray cat one time and it keeps coming back for more. Eventually it's gonna end up being yours.
websphere69 27
never more
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
Pasha28 8
YDI.
z3vil 11
Keep it and raise it. Crows are incredibly smart, train it. You can even teach it to talk.
CIAsmiley37 3
Crows are extremely intelligent creatures, train it to collect spare change for you and that way you can make some extra money on the side(:
furbyface711 9
He imprinted. He will never be able to sustain himself now. Bring animals to rescues centers, don't help them yourself. A rescue can make sure they don't imprint. I'm working with a baby hawk right now.
Slothman102 11
You've got a pet crow now. Could be worse.
marramrammar 2
They are smart if keeping as a pet! However, do what mother crows do, and chase it away aggressively!
worldclassrager 41
Maybe you can have a crow farm...if that makes any sense...but eventually it should leave but it will take a long time...I had a cat come by for three months then it left and never came back
alaurag22 4
Awe! Us damn Canadians!
AerBear115 15
Crows are awesome dude. I had a pet one but it had to go to a wildlife society for medical care.
Blippety 23
Well, it can't go back to its family because it now smells of human so they'll reject it, and it hasn't been outdoors in a while and hasn't been taught how to get it's own food. Sorry, mate, you're a father now. Enjoy your pet crow.
el_angelroca 15
Birds actually have a terrible sense of smell
ohishkabibble 21
Oh my god can we stop with the "it'll smell humans so it'll reject them" load of crap please. The internet exists, there is literally no reason to perpetuate this crap with a world of knowledge at your fingertips