Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML
Just do it
Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
Get out!
Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Baby Bird
Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo has learned to cry like the baby in the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML
You're welcome…
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
The bird
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Anthropomorphism
Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML
Freedom!
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Murder scene
Today, I saw two crows in a park using their beaks to kiss each other. A fucking crow gets more action than I do. FML
Top comments
JMichael 26
It's like when you feed a stray cat one time and it keeps coming back for more. Eventually it's gonna end up being yours.
websphere69 27
never more
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
JMichael 26
It's like when you feed a stray cat one time and it keeps coming back for more. Eventually it's gonna end up being yours.
lnheritance 19
Brings a whole new meaning to 'cat lady' presuming OP is a lady.
RedPillSucks 33
name is "a very unlucky dude" Presumable, OP is a guy.
anonymous_365 12
How very Maleficent of you...
Brody_Generico 7
A cat is what she needs
lnheritance 19
My phone partially cuts off OPs name. Therefore I wasn't certain to whether it was a male or female.
Brandi_Faith 34
86, mine does this too, I can never see the full name, which sucks cause I feel like I'm missing out on part of the joke when the name is good.
onealmxwilson 18
Not true in my experience. There was a small gray cat hanging out on my porch one day and wouldn't leave so I gave it a can of tuna and some water (which it happily devoured) and I haven't seen it since.
dragonrider1959 18
Hey free cat
destruct068 7
Caw-Caw-phany sounds best to me
Chibi_Kitten 24
Actually tuna is not all that good for cats. Try feeding it chicken or salmon instead. Cats love tuna but it doesn't really work for their diet.
Binda33 4
I take in all kinds of strays too. I'd love having a crow or a raven that hangs around like a pet but not having to keep it inside or in a cage. Feed it tinned cat food - better for it as it will have added vitamins etc. :)
websphere69 27
never more
captaincarlz 17
Yeah that's definitely a raven, not a crow.
igive 29
Eh close enough.
StillUsesMyspace 22
The poem was originally gonna use a parrot instead of a raven. You're welcome for my word vomit of random information.
ArturoRamirez 16
Both crows and ravens are still cute to me.
sarkaar 30
The noise must be quite caw-cophonic!
cakefete2 31
You know, there's a place where they love crow puns. Its called Crowatia, not to be confused with Croatia, you would.... murder it with your crow puns there.
hufflepuffle 13
I think a pun involving they word cacophony is a little too advanced for the average FMLer.
1dvs_bstd 41
lol they immediately thumbs down anything they don't understand or references they don't know. :FMLers:
Enslaved 38
Fun fact: a group of crows are called a "murder of crows". I once looked up murder of crow tattoos and was amazed at some ink work people had done.
ohSNAPyall 27
29's right: "Cawcophony" is quite advanced. A feather in your cap, 3.
hellnosucka 27
well OP, you can only hope it will crow on you now.
Rallred32 20
I don't even get what you were trying to say, 65.
WMFG16 14
#29 & #33's points exactly.. ^^
umerin 32
Thank you for being a decent human being and helping it. I, along with many other people admire that.
91hayek 31
I am impressed that OP was able to raise another living breathing creature. I have many brown plants to attest to how incompetent of a caregiver I am.
MrConcise 35
I'm sure there are dozens of neglected children who have seen reruns of Maury starring their parents. They would tell you taking care of a living thing isn't *that* hard. After all, they're still alive. ;)
91hayek 31
I suppose you're right. It's kind of a bad look if I am worse than the characters on that show.
Adam5858 17
At least you were kind in the first place,even though its still there,Maybe keep on feeding it and have a new pet
jkmartinjk 16
Yes, my grandmother has two 'pet' crows. They come down for every meal and she feeds them chip leftovers, breadcrumbs, the works. Their names are Sheryl and Russell, so punny.
AnOriginalName 19
The crow probably thinks that it's a pet now. Crows are very smart and can remember human faces. Sounds like this crow knows the OP now and adopted a human owner.
sexyboi1985 27
Well, make it a pet !
foxwasalamb 24
while that was very sweet, you should have known better. If you move away or simply stop feeding it, the poor bird wont know where to get food and it will die.
slyde32 12
just like it would have if he didn't take care of it, at least it has a fighting chance now
ErnieSlim 8
Crows are very good scavengers, it's probably just taking the easy route begging from someone it knows will provide food without the hunt. That doesn't mean the bird will never know how to eat on it's own again.. OP did a good thing. Maybe try to lure the bird into a cage and drive it to a wooded area so it can thrive.
BlueFlatts 20
I can imagine what an enjoyable drive that would be. CawCaw!!
lectricpharaoh 9
Unlikely. Crows are very intelligent birds. I've seen them manipulate discarded plastic baggies to get food out of them. I've seen them feign injury to get handouts from people. I've witnessed groups of them harassing other birds, like eagles and seagulls, in an organized fashion. They're very social birds, with a well-defined pecking order. I'm sure the crow would do okay if he neglected to feed it any longer. Still, a crow would be a cool pet, and can be taught to speak, much like a parrot.
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Hey do they sell crows as pets? Cause freakin sign me up
pheonixfire13 17
Theres a guy on YouTube called peter Caine dog training, he has several videos on why you should NOT have a pet crow/raven.
CoGhostRider 31
Feed it
kAPISH 29
That sucks.. that's nice of you though.
Fuaaad1994 31
May as well drink some redbull so you get wings and teach it how to hunt