Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML
Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, since I've been paying attention to my newborn, my pet cockatoo has learned to cry like the baby in the middle of the night. I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I saw two crows in a park using their beaks to kiss each other. A fucking crow gets more action than I do. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
It's like when you feed a stray cat one time and it keeps coming back for more. Eventually it's gonna end up being yours.
websphere69 27
never more
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Comments (147)
lylecrocodile110 2
Now you're like Brooks from Shawshank Redemption
cannonman1863 17
Sounds like a pretty smart crow. Why go through hard work to find food when he knows you've got it.
doglady 16
Corn! Corn! Corn!
calianon 7
Yea I have crows around my house too, oh yea and caw 24/7. Some good advice? Don't befriend a shitty flying scavenger and maybe put up some spikes for the little ***** and if that fails, get a BB gun. Good luck
tyson27 2
an airsoft gun is a great for of pest control...
halloweenXx 6
put up a feeder. I love people that help with animals!
ohSNAPyall 27
Not sure whether he's thirsty or tired, but he keeps asking for cawfee.
el_angelroca 15
As cruel as this sounds sometimes you have to let things die, just let nature take its course
ohishkabibble 21
And that's why you call a freaking bird rescue, OP; I understand you were trying to help it, but you have literally done the exact opposite of helping by taking care of it yourself. Crows imprint VERY easily and are VERY hard to rehabilitate and release. See if you can contact a bird rescue, and try to get some help for the poor bird. And for the love of god, don't repeat this mistake.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Teach him to come land on your arm when you call him and show it off to friends.