Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML
Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML
Today, I was with my 14 year-old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us, and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NodakN8V 25
Cats are assholes
Rawrshi 25
They might have thought you were staring at it because you were hungry but too stupid to catch it yourself. :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
xwingtwo 15
That would be one dead cat.
Rawrshi 25
They might have thought you were staring at it because you were hungry but too stupid to catch it yourself. :D
tygerarmy 35
My kitty has killed many things and brought them to me. It's love. I wonder if the OP's cat brought the OP the baby bird.
Rawrshi 25
My cat has brought me several live bats, lizards, birds, and a couple of rats. Usually it's dead things left in easy-to-step-on-in-the-dark places though. Like, stop you adorably floof covered murder ball. I don't want and am, quite franky, disgusted by your dead things.
Ichiya 29
Thats probably why witches used black cats. Crawling through the woods at night looking for small animals to use in their dark magic must have been hard on the older witches especially. Cats were the logical choice as they do the hard work for you.
nityasomaiya 46
Its happened to many squirrels in my yard. Now they're there, and poof! Little kitty ate 'em. I hate cats :/
NodakN8V 25
Cats are assholes
DarkMatter115 13
If cats are assholes then that means... everyone has a cat!
musoboy 22
14: actually that's not right. All cats are assholes but not all assholes are cats.
mindjob 14
Survival of the fittest, I suppose
jfletcher 3
actually human domestication and overbreeding of cats combined with protection from any form of selection pressure means that this isn't totally applicable. cats are acting as an invasive species and are devastating song bird populations in the United States and it is actually very detrimental to the ecosystem.
youngmessi252525 20
I laughed at this, am I going to hell now?
knight2109 12
Yup, I'll see you there.
obey_clarence 18
I thought I saw a pussy cat
Smooth_Criminal 24
Man, Tweety didn't speak perfect english. *facepalm* Get it right.
False_Stupidity 42
I tawd I taw a puddy tat!
BlindlyWandering 17
I'm sorry, but I laughed REALLY hard at this!
thespiantess 18
Me too. I imagined the cat thinking "I wish I could catch that bird..." and then hearing OP's "you can do it" like it was directed at him, and that's where he got the motivation to kill the bird :p It's your fault, OP!
xwingtwo 15
Get a dog to eat the cat
laurenswims13 24
Your cat was just trying to be friendly...in a different way.
feven 32
Get an exorcist ASAP
abattior 18
why?
WattledParsley 11
Yea that didn't make any sense at all.
feven 32
It's a joke :/ not meant to be taken seriously.
WattledParsley 11
:|
classicsparkles 17
32: bruh it has to make sense tho.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Maybe, just maybe (and this is a stretch) she was talking about how OP can subconsciously use the Devil to mind-control animals to do her murderous bidding.
Clawsified 6
@feven, jokes are relevant and funny. Your comment was neither.