Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML
Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML
Today, I really tried to talk to my wife how I feel that she hates me and is with me out of pity. She denied it all but by the end of the conversation mentioned she wants a divorce. FML
Today, I realized I sacrificed all my friends to make sure my marriage was successful, but sometimes when under extreme stress from my wife, I use the B-word and that’s enough for her to want to leave me. However, it’s perfectly fine for her to say "Fuck you" and that I’m a everything but a decent human being. FML
Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML
Today, I asked my wife for a divorce, after I tried everything to save our marriage, and it was a gut-wrenching decision. I tried easing her into it, but she instantly agreed. She had packing boxed ready to move out. Now I suspect she was sabotaging our marriage for months so I'd call it quits. FML
Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML
Today, I told my wife I wanted a divorce. I haven’t been in love with her for a long time and I've fallen in love with a girl at my job. When I told her this, she responded with, “No, fuck that, we're going to couples' therapy and you are gonna be a father to our kids!” I guess that’s a “No.” FML
Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shrike 24
Your friend must be an FML commenter, right? Haha, of course she is. Give us her username and we'll set her straight for ya.
cuppycakeslove 20
I feel bad for all the couples she gives counseling to..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
Shrike 24
Your friend must be an FML commenter, right? Haha, of course she is. Give us her username and we'll set her straight for ya.
DocBastard 40
What the hell are you talki...oh, it's you, Shrike. Never mind, carry on.
Rababco 29
That's kind of what I was thinking, I was like, "this sounds like the mindset fml commenter's have. " It sounds like this is might be the mindset of our whole society, I'm kind of scared now. Great first comment BTW, much better than the "First!" comments or generic comments that often get posted.
inthedopeshow 17
Well, at least you know who not to talk to if more serious issues arise...
Damian95 16
Its sad how easily people toss things away nowadays. Even marriage.
Ian7890 23
I really don't know why people down vote your comment 16, I agree with you.
Axel5238 29
It's sad, but in recent years there is a oh well I'll find someone else/replace them mentality. People have started treating relationships as disposable just like their tv's and other things.
ABillOnFire 15
your friend's a bit of a bitch so you lost faith in humanity? alright then
Sinsation 7
Agreed. OP is a ******* dumbass for [1] saying that she wasn't asking for advice but syill expected it and [2] saying that she's 'losing faith humanity' for some petty shit like that. Also, the snoring part? It's hereditary and involuntary, OP-bitch. He can only help it if he seeks the surgery to stop it. No marriage counselor can fix that. And if you have a problem w/ him chewing w/ his mouth open, say something. It's not ******* hard to ask him to chew w/ his mouth closed when he's around you.
cristy91 33
A couple remarks: 1- snoring isn't solved only through surgery. My dad wears a sleeping mask to combat it and it lets everyone in the house sleep soundly. A lot of times he won't wear it, though, because he doesn't want to go through putting it on (it's literally a slip on mask). 2- I have dealt with many people (particularly close family members) who chew with their mouths open and have other bad habits. You can tell them politely, passively, aggressively, or directly and they will not change because they are stubborn. It's true, what OP's complaining about might be impossible to change, but it might also be from her husband's unwillingness to change, so try to not be so quick when calling her names :)
Sinsation 7
"Bye bye, humanity" beacause of one stupid remark by her friend? Sounds like a dumbass to me.
cieloalicia 16
She's losing faith in humanity because the marriage counsellor's first remark in response to hearing the small but annoying habits was "divorce." Though I think her friend wasn't serious.
cuppycakeslove 20
I feel bad for all the couples she gives counseling to..
wlddog 14
BANG!! Duck season. Honestly, I thought you females got the memo on the duck face a long time ago, yet here you are again.
svalaedgren 18
Who are you to criticise others way of posing? Does it bother you?
Alicestraza 33
What business is it of yours to criticise her? She did nothing wrong and you're just insulting her and an entire gender. Does it really offend your eyes so much?
Mauskau 36
Hahaha. The duck face is unattractive, and he is trying to help get the message across to people that think it looks good. Can't a simple smile be good enough for you people? Do you really have to pout, very badly, and make it look like you had bad botox in your lips? Be proud of what you look like without pulling dodgy faces :)
Pordexel 5
BANG! Duck season.
Axipiter 24
Rabbit season!
Alicestraza 33
And if you have a terrible smile? Point is its no one's business what face people pull in their photo. They do not exist to be attractive and telling people to smile so that they're more pleasing to your eyes is acting entitled. You can't really tell people to be happy with what they look like when your pic is filtered so hard. (mine is too but I'm not the one telling people how they should be taking their pictures.) it's not harming you, let people do what they want.
wlddog 14
Oh boo hoo 71. Who ever heard of a smile that looks bad? Oh wait... BANG!!! Bang, for another duck face picture.
Alicestraza 33
You've seriously never seen a ****** up smile? I'll use myself as an example then, since I have one. If you honestly think you have the right to go around telling people what they should do because you're offended that they don't smile in their picture, you're a huge dbag. Also good job hiding behind a dog so that strangers on the Internet don't criticise you, I'm sure you're a model.
sulitak 27
chances are the friend didn't feel like doing her job for free. If you fix cars, do you really want to come home and have your friends assume you'll fix theirs for free? no
fricknugget 3
That's how she makes easy money i suppose lol
cakeeater123 5
Haha maybe she just wants to get with your husband!!!! Anyway dont listen to her every marrige has problems. Good luck OP
kurodansei 16
Clearly your friend doesn't bring work home with them.
decemberruby 5
She lost faith in humanity because people throw things away without bothering to fix them...example: OP's marriage. Someone chewing with their mouth open is not a good or valid reason to break up with someone, let alone divorce them.
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Know what's REALLY melodramatic? People throwing a bitchfit over hyperbole.
DocBastard 40
She must not be very bright. Why would a marriage counselor suggest divorce? Every new divorce is two fewer clients for her.
ironic_legacy 9
The counselor sounds like she's messing with her friend
firechicky 12
not really. if they divorce without learning how to compromise and work on a relationship they'll likely divorce and remarry. the trick is seeming helpful enough for the divorce to use you as a counselor the next time around.
xCensored 10
Hey, at least now you know not to go to her for any more advice!