Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML
Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML
Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML
Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML
Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML
Today, I noticed some of my thongs were stretched out and now hung loose on my hips. I thought it might be the dryer set too hot but no, apparently my mom has been wearing them over her fat ass, and thought I wouldn’t mind since we occasionally share our hoodies. Not the same thing mom. GROSS. FML
Today, I was folding the laundry. At one point, I had to take a moment to figure out whether a pair of underwear was mine or my mothers. I'm 18. She is 56. Enough said. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had been hiding all my leggings and yoga pants from me. Upon asking her, she admitted that she was jealous that my butt is bigger than hers, and that when I wear those types of pants, it's like I'm "rubbing it in". FML
Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML
Today, I found why exactly my clothes always seemed more stretched out after about a week of owning them. My mom steals and wears them when she goes clubbing. My mom is 46, twice my size, and gets out more than me. FML
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Top comments
Misswildsides 22
If you're not happy with that, it's time to take control of your life and start exercising and get healthy. Best of luck to you, Op.
TheDrifter 24
Look at it as your jeans receiving special treatment, only half as many crammed into the washer.
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Comments (107)
oj101 33
Don't worry. You're just "plus sized" and "curvaceous". Better than these 130lbs twigs, right?
Steffi 26
I assume this is a joke.
oj101 33
Yes. Satire to be more exact.
buddy51 23
Or, perhaps, sarcasm?
perdix 31
#12, even though they ARE in the mathematical sense, rolls aren't curves!
Wizardo 34
Target 1: Get back down to a pair of jeans actually counting as ONE pair of jeans...
science-teacher 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
fatty
Magicomoo 9
Wow I see the creativeness it took you to write this message. I bet you feel so good putting down someone else. Here have a high five, to you head.
Magicomoo 9
*your* sorry
RodzillaX 30
So close...
Jharrist89 12
That was almost a burn...
jipster 11
The solution is simple, lose fat.
doodlecloud 27
People count what they put in the washing machine...?
kmarie22_613e 25
That was the part I latched on to too. Like why ?!
Fluffydemise 18
Listen, if your trousers/pants are not yet sizeable enough to form a habitat for several small dwarves then you have no problems. If that day ever does occur, embrace it and start a sideline in custom made dwarven accommodation.
Magicomoo 9
You know what OP? My bestfriend is about 100kgs, she scores some of the hottest guys. She has an amazing boyfriend now. She is amazing person. Some people go 'why' she is fat! Everybody is different, so do what makes you happy! Screw everyone, I am so sick of everyone judgment. I have what people call curves, and eat healthy and exercise. I am just naturally that way. My mum is a size 6 and I am a 12. She might consider because your not her size that your just bigger and counts it twice. Her judgment might be off! Good luck OP
Fluffydemise 18
You can be attractively fat, just look at all the chubby **** out there. Curvaceous beauties. You can also have ten rolls of fat comig from your gut with stretch marks all over and a face like a pizza that's been launched against a wall. Your friend sounds like the first thing i said :p
otecasacid 22
100kg? Not curvy. The hottest guys? Not likely. Some guys have a fat FETISH. So that puts fat in the same category as scat, feet, and period. (they're fetishes too) Curvy is one thing, weighing more than most guys is completely different.
fuckery16 13
61 is 100% correct. Curves and rolls are two completely different things. And the person she described does not sound curvy.
RodzillaX 30
Generic statement about health and diet. Words of encouragement directed at OP.
MuseFan1991 14
generic response agreeing/disagreeing with your comment
Fluffydemise 18
It's time to start protest sharting.
monkeyy100 15
Just start exercising if it really bothers you.
Jemm_fml 29
Have no idea who thumbbed you down. Reversed by 1 for being the truth.