Today, I learned that my friends nicknamed me Snow White, not because I’ve got dark hair and very pale skin, but because I “only hook up with tiny dudes”. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as The Abominable Snowman. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend talking to her friends, saying the most attractive guys are tall and dark-skinned. I'm about average height and pale. Uh-oh. FML
Today, I found out that since I stopped shaving my legs, my boyfriend and his friends have started referring to me as a Wookiee. FML
Today, I found out that ever since I got my blonde highlights, I've been mocked behind my back at work, and nicknamed "The Skunk". FML
Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
Today, I saw the guy I have a crush on kissing a blonde chick. He'd turned me down because he “wasn’t into blondes”. I’m a blonde myself. When I confronted him about it, he told me, “Oh, I should have been more specific. I’m not into blondes who have a face like Sid the Sloth and a body like Shamu.” FML
Today, I realized that I’m undateable because of my weight. I’m 33. My entire life, I’ve always been dated in secret, guys went out with me to make fun of me behind my back, always got cheated on, always get friendzoned, etc. It’s not fair that I have to change my body type to get my chance at happily ever after. FML
Today, I walked into work and overheard three of my female coworkers talking and laughing about how ugly my face is, and how they’re sorry for whoever has to marry me. They went on to name the coworkers they actually would sleep with. I’m 25 and I've still never had a girlfriend. Thanks for the self-esteem boost. FML
Today, now that I've lost a significant amount of weight, all the guys that turned me down saying they “liked me as just a friend” all of a sudden are in my DMs saying, “Hey beautiful” and asking me out on a date. Nice to know I’m only liked for my body. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 35
Just to clarify, what exactly do they mean by "tiny"? Because this could go one of two ways.
Burkiie45 10
Well if it makes you feel any better people say I look like Lord Farquaad from Shrek
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Comments (55)
sorry_she_dabs 9
you need better friends.
Scarylizard1798 23
Ur friends have a beautiful sense of humor lol
toolazytotype99 18
Well at least your not sleeping with them for their quality in bed
RosaMaravillosa 10
not every man is made to proportion. and tiny guys can climb every which way. they're a lot of fun.
andrmac 25
Well she may just like guys that don't intimidate her with their size, and yes that can go both ways!!
mejustbeingme 4
At least you're hooking up and having a good time. Why is their size (no matter how you're implying it, because you don't specify) important to them?
RosaMaravillosa 10
all in good fun, I didn't vote either way. it's just a funny joke. I'd say run with it. get a red apple necklace or something ;)
alexman2493 4
Really, who cares we live in a society that is too shallow, if they make you happy go for it op. Ps I'm shorter than 5'7
Flyndaran 10
Humans in every culture consider male height important. It's not wrong to understand that. Only judging one's character based on it is.
BandsRuleBro 11
My question is, how would your friends know if they were tiny? So many unanswered questions, OP.
SauceySarah 30
I can get behind that. Good for you! Embrace it.
misanthropic_one 3
At least it wasn't because you were so gullible/trusting as to border on idiotic, or that in a fit of revenge you made your mother dance until she died. Chilling with short people was really the only decent thing the actual fairy tale Snow White ever did.