Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML
Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML
Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML
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Top comments
telle_16 0
WTF, are you an idiot?
TeeHooligan 0
ooo burnn!
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Comments (362)
DemonicFatty 2
lesson learned
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
LOL Thanks Im So Going To Try This Its Sounds Well Fun :D
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
:D
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
I'm the type of person to try crazy things lol :D
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
Yeah I Know... Silly :D
scroojilicious 1
it can actually be dangerous and can cause you to get burnt. be careful. and wow OP, I'm guessing you don't cook.
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
I'm Going To Get My Friends To Do It Together :D & Freezer Ice Cubes? And Ill Try To Be Carefull lol
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
Yes Your Mocking The Way I Type, I Prefer Starting Each Word In Capitals. Problem?
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
Okay What Are You On About Then ??
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
Ignorance If You Dont Like The Way I Type Then Dont Rwad My Comments, And What On Earth Is A Period? Gosh & Icaptain Thats Not Nice Telling Me To Have Burning Myself
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
*Read *To Have Fun
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
ignorance I fail you dont even know me blimey I'm sorry just cause we don't use (periods) in England who u kidding ? and iicaptain omg Americans must be naturally Aholes Americans are nothing but violence and hatred gosh go burn your self so You Cant Type Like This well what is your problem seriously I don't live to please you.
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
it's 1.30am I don't have time to waste to reply back to dumb Americans just because you do something different doesn't mean your right.
Raleigh_bruh 7
#91 - Did you just say people in England don't use periods..? I can't really tell if I read that right because of your lack of punctuation and sentence structure.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
They do use periods in England.. Good lord. Man. U. supporters are ******* stupid. :P
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
yes I said people in England don't use periods. what the heck are periods? and ohh gosh another person complaining I'm sorry I wasn't told I was in an English class and had to use the correct grammar and puncuations I do appologize... and as I said I can write however I want I don't live to please people goodbye it's 1.38am kinda getting bored
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
99 I ent stupid you don't even know me. God this is a Internet site I'm sorry I didn't know I had to write a bloody essay. And what on earth are periods then?
Raleigh_bruh 7
Duh, Taylor. :] #100 - I wasn't complaining, I was just confused. But I agree, you should definitely go to bed so hopefully by tomorrow you'll remember how write coherent sentences. :P
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
Your going on about (periods) well what are they cause the whole time I've been in school I've never come across using periods in my writing anyone care to tell me then?
Freeze_fml 17
Annoying troll is annoying.
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
Thats . a period? that's a full stop
Raleigh_bruh 7
Lol, they obviously know what a period is; you're just feeding the troll now. :P
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
iicaptain I will go to bed when I want to thanks for your concern. And as I said Englands different to America everything you know isn't always right to someone else tards
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
ignorance I do know what they are now just in England we don't call them periods we call them full stops which are used at the end of a sentences.
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
we call them commas too hooray somethings are the same :D anyways I'm off
seahorses4eva 4
UnitedxKingdom...I say type however you f-in feel. If It's Like This And Makes Me Want To Skip Past Your Comment, Guess What? ...I will. Period (now that we're all clear on what they are exactly). :)
ohthebloodygore 16
136 has a point I'm from England and we call them full stops. Seeing as how period means menstrual cycle, but he's obviously not from England seeing as he spelt realise 'realize'. Americans spell it with a z and us with an s. it's one of the basic things they teach us. He fails at being/trying to be 'English' and seeing as how his name and picture flaunt England, I'm guessing he's not.
Raleigh_bruh 7
#244 - I don't see where he/she used the word 'realize'.
ohthebloodygore 16
He/she wrote it on comment 100, I notice it easily because I have many American friends who correct me with their English.
Cinn_fml 23
Indeed they did, and they spelt apologise the same way. However it is called a full stop in the UK, but it's not difficult to figure out what a 'period' is. I quickly figured it out by applying year seven physics wave nomenclature to sentances. Good to know that was useful for something. @OP - Erm, you know how you don't mix hot oil and water? (I have been told you can do it safely if you add one to the other rather than the other way around, but I don't know how true this is)
ohthebloodygore 16
Raleigh- I apologise I meant 'apologize' not 'realize'.
ohthebloodygore 16
Non manlecture* Sentences* Sorry, it was buggering me.
5t3ff1k4h 47
So, let me get this straight. Americans say "because I said so, period!" to their children. *dramatic pause* Does this mean Brits say "because I said so, full stop!"?
Raleigh_bruh 7
Ah no worries, I figured that was what you meant.
ohthebloodygore 16
252- are you kidding me?! Actually when speaking to kids it's 'because! full stop. I! full stop. said! full stop. so! full stop' :)
Cinn_fml 23
ohthebloodygore, what's wrong with nomenclature? Sentences I'll give you, I constantly still screw that word up even though I actually now know it's an e not an a. You are also right that it's "because, full stop!"
ohthebloodygore 16
Not to be an arse or anything, know* not now.
Cinn_fml 23
Who was that aimed at?
ohthebloodygore 16
You hah. I'm guessing, you spelt it wrong by accident.
Cinn_fml 23
I didn't. I wrote 'now know' which is valid. And you still haven't answered my question about why you corrected nomenclature which is actually a word :P
ohthebloodygore 16
****, aha I'm not allowed to correct people when not having slept. What time is it? I did but FML didn't bloody post it I said that I didn't read it clearly and mistook it for another word. Kind of like now:)
scroojilicious 1
LOL, they would be referred to as full stops in the UK. periods is the American word for the punctuation mark. goodness me.
The_Disturbed 5
UNITEDxKINGDOM - stop giving the rest of us British people a bad name as racist, trolling gits. People like you are the reason other countries hate us. And Ignorance, in response to your post #80, YOU FAIL for not understanding cultural differences. A "." in England is known as a "full stop", whilst you know it as a "period". Think before you shoot someone else down, regardless of how stupid they may be. And as for you OP, just be thankful YOU'RE not the one covered in boiling oil. Maybe this will teach you to avoid putting things on oil to cool it down.
UNITEDxKINGDOM 0
Thanks You to everyone who understood where I was coming from I just got annoyed because a few people where hitting at me and calling me dumb just because I prefer to type a way they didn't like and not knowing what a period was cause ally time at school I've known them as full stops and a period is what women have every month. And i sorry to whoever if I offended you. thanks to the ones who understood xoxo (cant believe all this over my silly comment wish I hadn't wrote it now)
zoecw 14
Why do you capitalize every letter?
megh90 0
you never put water in oil. what is wrong with you. just a tip- if there is ever an oil fire put it out with a fire extiguisher! not water.
NavitasNexus 3
There are water fire extinguishers!
DJuan 0
well. hmm. ..... stupid ass
melmosuzanne 0
stupid stupid stupid
anorexicbarbie 8
oh dear
lerthox 8
fat fat fat :D
chevyygirl 0
hahaha woww:)
deafeningsilence 8
125: Says the person who doesn't even HAVE a display picture up. You have no place to talk.
nedax 5
125-Rude. Anonymous or not, don't be a douche.
Rheannon 0
OMG have you ever seen time warp. seriously they did a warp on that.
jadegurl17 0
wow r u really that stupid
stacizzle 0
hahah. woww. GENIUS
oohlalaaliya 0
I'm not going to give this a YDI, I wouldn't have known any better either OP. That really sucks :/
andreffff 0
DUH!!!!!!!!!