Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, at work, our new chef managed to start a grease fire. We couldn’t put it out because he managed to splash the flaming grease onto the fire extinguisher. Yes, we couldn’t put out a fire because our fire extinguisher was on fire. The fire department guys just laughed and laughed. FML
Today, after I was away for a couple of days, my wife told me she’s been doing laundry while I was gone. I'd reminded her to clean out the lint catcher because it might catch fire. I came home to a new dryer and a smoke damaged house. FML
Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
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Top comments
Goobian 3
When do you learn that? In grade school? My best friend taught me to shake salt on the grease because salt can't burn so that is how I deal with it or of course a lid or another non flammable cover.
voodootrucker 0
fire department bill WTF? isn't that what taxes are for
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Comments (88)
shazzahllala 0
Well that was silly of her.
voodootrucker 0
fire department bill WTF? isn't that what taxes are for
Bonesaw9268 0
The fire department billed them for responding. It is simply because the fire department had to respond (lights and siren) to the home and that endangers the general public. It is usually no more than a couple hundred dollars... just enough to deter people from making false calls.
nonotme 0
Sounds like you need to make a list of stupid shit your wife doesn't know so you can make reminders for her.
nazooer 11
Is she a blonde?
SarahinSane 0
No, she's a woman.
Ox_Baker 0
Wyoming? You guys don't even have sales tax, and you have to pay for the Fire Department to come?
silvermoonstar3 3
Very silly of her! I was taught by my family when I was 5, and by my school some time in early elementary school. Every now and then, it would come up in future science classes, too. How can one get to an age that can legally marry and not learn this?
chanman 0
Oxbaker: Wouldn't it be BECAUSE they don't pay sales tax that they have to pay a fire department bill? Your reasoning astounds me. Silvermoon: Well yes, I know that too, but I don't know if I would remember it immediately if something was on fire. Maybe i'd try splashing water on it once, and then remember "oh right!". I hope this woman didn't try hosing it down...
fball913 0
she's a dumb ****, stay out of the kitchen you **** tard wife. can't even handle the kitchen you belong in.
HackerD00d 0
they did a mythbusters episode on that :P
ZleveL 0
atleast she was in the kitchen :/
Goobian 3
When do you learn that? In grade school? My best friend taught me to shake salt on the grease because salt can't burn so that is how I deal with it or of course a lid or another non flammable cover.
Reyo 2
Well all of this is good to know, and I'm sure they googled the shit out of the phrase "How to put out grease fires", but nothings going to make that fine go away. @OP: I don't know whether to laugh at, or kick the crap out of your ex. Man this is so confusing.
ryguy997 0
who said she was his ex?
Exsequor 14
@53, a fire extinguishers will make it go away. It terrifies me that even with Google you couldn't figure that out.
null_fml 11
Why didn't she just use a fire extinguis-- wait, nevermind, she probably couldn't figure out how to operate it. I don't think the instructions are big or colourful enough.
popatia 0
throw flour on it
starberries 0
Flour is combustible.
GuitarSauce 0
actually using flour is a common and effective method.
Headcrab 29
If you do that you could wind up with a dust explosion. This sometimes happens in wood mills and flour plants where three are enough particles in the air to make them catch on fire and it makes a huge fireball. I'd strongly advice against using flour. Just use a wet towel and call the fire dept.
mrbt1 3
Flour explodes. You're supposed to put baking soda on it, or put a lid on the pot and it will put itself out.
sretter 0
Lesson: Don't leave wife at home alone...
joeydboy123 0
lol, maybe its not a good idea to make her stay in the kitchen all the time
allmidnighteyes 11
How the hell did she start a grease fire in the process of making a sammich?
allmidnighteyes 11
But a grilled cheese does not require grease! off-topic: grilled cheese and thick tomato soup is absolute sexaliciousness.
_whatever_77 0
Could it have been a BLT? Bacon... Duh.
voodootrucker 0
butter is the grease what kind of f'n cheese are you eat'n
lmmmr 0
There is enough grease in the butter you use for grilled cheese to start a grease fire capable of destroying a kitchen? Thats a ******* greasy grilled cheese.
Aly3277 0
I discovered that you can't put out a grease fire with baking powder....it's supposed to be baking soda. Turns out baking powder makes the flames bigger. :)
allmidnighteyes 11
Bullshit. You're supposed to serenade the fire with a ukulele song and make love to it on the beach, regardless of where sand will work its way into. Every sane person knows that. :D
Synnie 0
I'm a fire. Put me out, please.
redbluegreen 41
O: Are you hitting on my Twinny?!
blkmagick 0
Shit, I was using a guitar, not a ukulele! Stupid -_-
Ndock 0
This story is very untrue the fire department does not charge you for putting out a fire in your house.
fball913 0
actually they charge you if you caused it....
d101_fml 0
A fire department bill?? Isn't 'saving your life' included in the tax you pay??
musu_fml 0
I thought you Americans liked that whole "bill you if you use it" thing. I mean, you run your healthcare like that. Why not other things? When your house catches fire, the fire department hand you a bill after you call them out. When someone steals your car, the police bill you for their expenses in tracking down the crook. That's what Americans want, right?
trulyinsane 0
they would charge the thief for that twat. And yes, i do want my government that way,
silvermoonstar3 3
That's how stuff tends to work in America, but only certain groups of people want it that way. I think it would make far more sense to only bill if it's a prank call and just raise taxes a bit to compensate.
arcades_fire 0
YDI for marrying a retard.