Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML
Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML
Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML
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Top comments
telle_16 0
WTF, are you an idiot?
TeeHooligan 0
ooo burnn!
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Comments (362)
Grammar_Police 0
I pulled a legonut. Please use proper grammar on this website.
angeljewlz 7
you're posed to smother a grease fire... learned that in second grade. but yeah op fyl for it happening but shouldn't you have learned that earlier in life? oh well at least you learned right? =]
Grammar_Police 0
Today, my stupid kid thought it would be a good idea to put out a grease fire with ice cubes. The grease and steam spattered out of the pan, and all over my brand new kitchen. FML
squeegee523 0
ydi for not knowing that would happen. that's something even retards know
yeleia 0
you are a ******* numbskull that doesn't deserve to ever be in a kitchen.
allupinyourmama 0
Jackass! you're lucky you didn't get severe burns or set the place on fire. YouTube that shit, you'll see. better yet, try it again.
lawlatyourfml 0
i want to post something but it'll be moderated and i'm pretty sure it's too long.... anyways, you're a ******* retard. how the **** are you not brain dead?
SouthSideGummi 0
I never knew this...lol this could save my life :D thx OP
bluemaizeman13 0
my parents taught me that before I even learned to cook.
marissarenee 0
no shit