Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
Today, I was forced to sit silently through my 20-year-old daughter's wedding to a man who is 8 years older than I am. FML
Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML
Today, my dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "Mom." I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me "something nice." FML
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML
Today, my dad is getting married for the 4th time. First it was my mom, then as they got older, he married a woman 10 years his junior, then his third wife was my age and 28 years his junior. Now at the grand old age of 64, he is marrying a 22 year old, 42 years his junior, almost 2 decades younger than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML
Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML
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Top comments
MaramaBreaksFace 0
Punch her, then vomit. On your dad.
amatayo 0
so which did you pick cuz I might have done the first to her then my dad
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Comments (186)
DrPaige 1
Incest is between brother and sister.
midnight21 8
Why not punch her in the face and then vomit on her for being such a creepy gold digger?
MattKing4665 2
Umm.. Gross.
pinkalicious224 7
Vomit on the ***** face.
Lucia_Malpense 14
I'm really hoping that you're not a teenager.
spiderman_88 11
Why not both?
Mario5491 5
Why not both!
PsychoAlexLying 4
Punch her, then (if she's on the ground) puke on her. Repeat to father.
Shurikenstar_ 0
"Porque no los dos?"
CougeeSwagg 19
FALCON PUUNCH!