Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML
Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
It's like Easter egg hunt with meat!! Measter!
Im2Handsom 1
Shove a potato in her muffler.
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Comments (111)
KJON 0
Take apart the drain pipe and eat that wet meat!!!
ShazzRandom 7
That sucks.. BBQ at ur place?
flyboy96 0
This made me laugh repeatedly. :)
iliketurdles 7
I don't see nothing wrong here. Keep it moving.
holdn2aces 1
Tine to get the sage and go a cleansing for the enviroment you once shared
sierra142 19
Are you sure it was hamburger meat......?
perdix 31
Oh, I hate meatings! I doubt there is a kind way to ask someone to move out. Looks like you got punished by having to attend a series of meatings.
iliketurdles 7
That was baloney. No seriously, that sucked.
p0kegeek 4
Maybe she had ass-burgers,
perdix 31
Good one ;)
yesio12 13
Maybe you should move out?
abbyhoneywaffles 11
Haha, I thought of Rose from Two and a Half Men :')