Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
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Top comments
MELKOZAR 27
Somebody has been eating too much asshole.
False_Stupidity 42
Lots of things can be the cause of bad breath (it's not always poor dental hygiene), but unless you let your hubby know, then he wont be able to do anything about it.
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Comments (52)
blackonblight 33
Possibly tonsil stones. There is nothing quite so foul as the smell of those things, and it's not like hygiene is going to help if you're prone to them. Only cure is getting the tonsils out, so if that's the case, FYL and your husband's.
idxntgiveafxck 17
Ooooh das nasty *cleveland's voice*
DemonBoy1988 22
The kiss of death
Meechiepie 13
Could be tonsil stones if he's brushing his teeth regularly but it still stinks. Ask if he feels like he has popcorn kernels or something stuck in his throat, if he does, it's probably tonsil stones. I got these after having my baby because coffee apparently makes it worse (never had them before having baby) and I was DOWNING the coffee for the first few months.
Meechiepie 13
Could be tonsil stones if he's brushing his teeth regularly but it still stinks. Ask if he feels like he has popcorn kernels or something stuck in his throat, if he does, it's probably tonsil stones. I got these after having my baby because coffee apparently makes it worse (never had them before having baby) and I was DOWNING the coffee for the first few months.