Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonald's drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I pulled out of the line, only to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I hope your fast food didn't include a brownie. With nuts.
DogmaT_fml 4
eat it while staring. I SAID, EAT IT WHILE STARING.
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Comments (72)
yoshiyakiryu 20
Wait, were you eating your food while driving? Why not just wait until you got home?
jeffav51 0
duhh the food would be really cold and all the fatty vegetable grease would be cold and chunky looking.
shadowskater 0
YDI for eating while driving, that turd could've saved you from having a wreck, SAY THANK YOU! Oh, and #21 rally's and checker's are the same thing.
Zebidee 9
Exactly. Between eating the food and staring at the truck, how much attention could OP possibly have been giving the rather more important task of driving the car?!
xdmsjcx 0
maybe it was ures? hahahaha!
lilmissy1290 0
youre conplaining about looking at a turd when you put that garbage in your body? ydi for eating fast food
PushBarToOpen 5
I call bullshit. Who in their right mind would put a window in a septic tank? Unless OP is from some weird country then I seriously doubt it(can't see from mobile site) And if its true then YDI for eating whilst driving...its just stupid.
Brittneyyyy 7
Agree with #41. Fast food is garbage. Better to look at it then eat it.
ECOxDC 0
like in Very Mary Kate from collegehumor that looks at pictures of food instead of eating. ahaha
EvilSpirt 5
I don't understand what happened here....
Suchagoonnn 4
kid cudi
sparta98 4
The car "drives" itself when you're at a red light...
FMLMaster2010 0
walk it off and I mean the fast food!!