Today, I just came back from Afghanistan after a 9-month tour, and my brother asked, "How many towelheads did you kill?" He then acted offended when I smacked him upside the head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table, I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter." FML
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML
Today, I'm a trained soldier with tours of duty under my belt, 6 foot tall with scars and tattoos, and yet I still can’t beat my brother in a fight because he cheats by tickling me until I can’t breathe or piss myself. FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
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Top comments
Isa_Marie0113 17
Thank you for your service! Sorry your brother is an insensitive and ignorant butt.
BoboCracker 21
Towel-whip him
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Comments (131)
littlefoott69 14
did you follow up the smack with a little education about your work and what you learned over there.
DeadxManxWalking 27
First off: Thank you for your service. secondly: most people don't realize that "towel-heads" are people too. they're not monsters. some are even forced to do so for the life of themselves and the lives of their families
xXDemonWolfXx 13
If you do nothing to stop the terrorists then you're just as bad as them.
MathButt 17
Forced to do what?
DeadxManxWalking 27
First off: Thank you for your service. secondly: most people don't realize that "towel-heads" are people too. they're not monsters. some are even forced to do so for the life of themselves and the lives of their families
catanita 18
Being a 'towel-head' do not equals a bad man. Most of them are normal people caught in someone else's political interests.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
The mad thing is that idiots like your brother do not realise that the fist and main victims of military campaigns and terrorism in that region are the people he calls "towel-heads". I have a Muslim background and one guy started trash talking me on FB, my (catholic) husband told him to F off and that twat responded that I was surely planning to blow his head off in his sleep. I try to laugh at such ignorance but sometimes, it's really aggravating...
Sonotsuave 37
As an American-born middle eastern woman who still has family and friends in my home country and surrounding countries, that's beyond insensitive. As a brother he should support you, as a non-server he should know better than to bring humour into one of the most difficult professions, and as a citizen he should strive not to be such an ignorant racist individual.
Nightbird827 15
He didn't deserve to be smacked. You yourself said you were on a tour in Afghanistan...it's full of towelheads and we are in a war with them.
_ravens_ 11
Brothers am I right
aelarol 5
Perhapes you can change you name.
rldostie 19
This isn't offensive just because of the racial slur. Asking a veteran (or active duty member) if they've killed someone is beyond the pale and, for some, triggering. It's asking a person to possibly relive and revisit one of the most horrific and painful experiences of their military career, all in the name of curiosity. Taking a life in the line of duty is serious and often can cause life long trauma. How anyone can ask a person to relive and casually talk about such an event is beyond understanding. It's a kind of stupidity and lack of common sense that is baffling. I just say "you shouldn't ask that" when people ask me, although it's gotten substantially better over the years. Fewer ask, but even when they did, I'm appalled by the lack of thinking behind the question. You don't have to have patience with idiots. A curt, forward, "why do you think that's an acceptable question," often brings them back to reality.
Algorithm 24
Exactly, 50. It's a voyeuristic attempt to get people to relive some of the worst times of their life because someone wants to rubberneck at the scene of the crash without risking their own safety/sanity for a front row seat. I know some just don't know better and wouldn't ask if they did, but it still makes me speechlessly angry. I'm glad it's decreasing.