Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
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Top comments
Entheatus 13
Your dad is a moron. FYL.
JockeyGirl 0
haha wtf
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Comments (384)
krez 20
I guess all you people hating on the dad don't have any children?
ideasrule 13
I'd be seriously disturbed if all the parents here thought what the dad did was appropriate.
krez 20
Not appropriate, but understandable. That "joke" goes right up there with "happy birthday dad, can you bail me out?" and "hey I'm on heroin, please pass the mashed potatoes". No parent wants their kid ruining their life before it really started.
alexFYL 11
1) If my kids are 18 or older, they can do whatever they want because I legally don't have to foot the bill anymore. 2) I can understand why you'd want to slap someone for getting pregnant but you have to have some serious rage issues if you actually follow through. You don't hit people! Only people lacking mental capacity hit other people.
smartguy13v 2
HULK SMASH!
shymom83 0
I wish ur dad was my sister in laws she and my brother just got married she 18 he 20 he is in the army and apprently she was trying to conceive a child the two weeks he was here and he has only been gone two weeks yet she is five weeks pregnant if that makes sense which means it aint my brothers but anyway she says she cant afford insurence ok then why try for a child if u cant afford insurence u cant afford a child and yet her dumb ass mother is all for it what kinda parent is that sorry off topic but it pisses me off
heathersmorin 0
Is the age an issuse?? I got married when I was 18 and my husband was 20. He was in the Marine Corps. We got married prior to him going to Iraq. My husband and I have been married for 7 years now, together 12. Now a days a lot of people are doing that BUT for the wrong reason. Sound like she's just trying to get knocked up for the military benefits. That's what quite a few of my friends did. Dump their husbands but now have a nice paycheck coming their way. But FHL for having a wife. DNA test
JokeMeister 0
a little impulsive, hunh? spooky.
anakaren_831 1
Fag.
mars28 4
Sounds like something my dad would do :p
diabian 9
what the ****!! call the police on him for abusing you if he doesnt apologize and pay for the stuff he broke! who hits a girl... what an ass!!
vgameson 0
i hit girls
kristylew03 1
1) She should call the police anyway if he is abusing her, regardless of whether he replaces the stuff or not, otherwise its just blackmail. 2) People shouldn't hit their kids regardless of whether they're male or female.
mainemysteryman 0
haha youve been warned! no babies for you!!
Miss_Random 0
That was a pretty reasonable action, huh?
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0
ur dad is retarded.