Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
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Top comments
Entheatus 13
Your dad is a moron. FYL.
JockeyGirl 0
haha wtf
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Comments (384)
emodude44 0
YOUR SON IS PREGNANT DUE TO MY IRRESPONSIBLE DAUGHTER! wait a minute...
PuttBlugs 0
All you people use fml for is to complain. Please stop
LecheeBubble 0
Cell phone: $100. Laptop: $ 800. Dad in Hulk rage: Priceless. As for the slap, I'm not putting anything for that otherwise child services will get me.
sammieskittles 0
well he is an idiot!
zeLight 3
I'm not telling my daughter she has a va gina until she's 18
PurpleWaffles 2
an excuse to buy a new one of everything?
TheNewGuy03 29
hm, perhaps your dad should have his own game show. he's clearly the benchmark for intelligence. |the kid|
awardZu 0
Is your dad in theater? Sounds like the "HamletRageQuit" guy from a few posts ago...
teffysayshi 8
Oh my god..
b3ll4b00 0
haha thats funny. that would be a good joke to say U got ur BF pregnant. haha BF and pregnant aren't good in a sentance tho