Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the boy of my dreams at a party. Later, while on AIM, I noticed one of his friend's away messages was a quote from the guy's screen name, which said, "I can't believe what I stick my dick In sometimes." FML
Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
Today, I hooked up with a guy. He didn't last 30 seconds before finishing, Then his car wouldn't start. I ended up walking home after a hook up that wasn't worth it. FML
Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML
Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
Today, I fell for a guy after three years of being celibate, after he showed all the signs of being into me. It turns out that he likes my best friend, who is dating another guy I liked, and was just using me to compensate for her unavailability. I guess I am really a walking, talking example of Murphy's law. FML
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, I found out the guy I’m in love with has been side-messaging one of my closest friends about hooking up for sex. This isn’t the first guy this has happened with. FML
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Top comments
Cheeley 17
So if I get a small car the women will be all over me?
annie_nk 23
There's a reason why stereotypes exist. And this guy proves that.
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Comments (85)
EmsyyyRose13 24
Well, if he's any good at foreplay, it shouldn't really matter. There are more ways to be intimate than just penetration.
logankyng 15
His next ride is a corvette
akiahara 14
In my experience, Corvettes aren't compensating for a damn thing.
noonenoeone 22
Corvettes compensate for not being able to afford a real sports car...ZR1s aside of course.
Wizardo 34
Guys with Smart cars and hybrids must be so confident right now.
TheDrifter 24
Except that the stereotype is that they're gay. Unless someone breaks the stereotypes OP is going to have to turn to bikers to find a suitable man.
barfcannon 24
I always heard gay guys were hung. Although this may just be caused by the small car theory.
TheDrifter 24
They might be, I never did a study. But either way it really doesn't help the ladies choose, as they're batting for the other team. Maybe look for a guy with a Jeep? But be careful, I hear they like the trail less traveled.
NightHawk387 22
Well, they do like to go mud riding.
buckdharma 38
Is the horn really loud? Like when he blows it does it scare the shit out of people?
Milotiiic 9
I'm sure that's exactly the sort of question to be asking at this point...
your_ma 27
Luckily from him everything about your body and personality and attitude are perfect. He deserves better than you.
NotoriousLES 14
No kidding! I wonder how OP would feel if the guy went around complaining that she uses a double padded push up bra to compensate for really tiny boobs?
pdp_fml 21
I agree with the comments that speak of your friends character. If he's a good man the size won't matter.
lininnes 6
I have never heard abt this car-penis-size thing before. But I do know girls here in Asia love using Samsung Note2 instead of iPhone, because bigger screens make their faces look thinner.
lolita88_fml 27
That is...odd. Interestingly odd.
Yeliab333 20
if you like him it shouldn't matter how big/small he is
lolita88_fml 27
Not his fault he's not well-endowed and wants to feel better about himself =/
graceinsheepwear 34
Maybe he has good acceleration and gets good mileage?
perdix 31
#29, large trucks usually have poor acceleration and gas mileage -- they guzzle gas and are built to deliver high-torque. In other words, he'll require lots of beer and will give you awesome tittie twisters, if you are into that sort of thing.
graceinsheepwear 34
Ah, the tittie twister. With remote controls and digital tuning, so few men these days have a, ahem, grasp on how to do an old fashioned, dialing in a TV channel, type of tittie twister. Women go crazy for that shit.
perdix 31
#37, our late Dad had us believe that turning the dial too fast would cause premature breakulation, so I've developed a slow, deliberative twisting technique. Back in the day, channel volumes could be vastly different, so I've become good at twiddling two knobs at once.