Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, my roommate had to ask to check if I was drinking water instead of alcohol. Twice. Then she 'suggested' that I 'might' be an alcoholic. I'm only 21. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, I was feeling sick and ended up throwing up as soon as I got home. My mother's first question was an accusatory, "What have you been drinking?" I was returning from the AA meeting I have been attending for over a month. I go because I'm afraid I'll become an alcoholic like her. FML
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
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Top comments
gabrielbaby 9
Why would you tell your mom?
DocBastard 40
Thank god your mother was there to save you from the evils of a sip of Satan's Brew! Just imagine, if she hadn't been there, you would have surely succumbed to the poison and the drunken hilarity that would have inevitably ensued!
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Comments (243)
saIty 17
I'm salty and I know it.
bananagrams 9
Animal print pants out control
uniongirl02 0
Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, YEAH!
j_cat187 20
My gf thinks I'm salty.
iohsane 0
Why did you even tell her you drank it? Your fault.
Mikko8 15
YDI for letting her "make" you do all that.
poopdollar123 4
pics or it didnt happen.
jackassiddy 8
I wish your comment didn't happen..
KiddNYC1O 22
21- You want see pics of someone vomiting? Okayyy.
mk58 31
Okay, OP, I can't tell you how dumb you were for following through with drinking salt and water until you vomited. Do you happen to like the taste of vomit or something? It was one glass of alcoholic cocktail, calm the **** down.
Enslaved 38
If the OP is from the UK, I believe the legal drinking age over there is 18. This makes the OP's mom extra crazy! If she's so hell bent about alcohol, then why is it even allowed in the house in the first place? FYL indeed!
DelphiCat 17
Except, if OP is in the UK, why did they write 'Mom' , which is an Americanism? I'm not saying they're not, just that sometimes i wonder if the locations are right, which would at least mean the crazy mother was 'maybe' at least acting within the confines of the law... Still a crazy b**** though.
michaeljcaboose 7
24- I was wondering the same thing! I know in Ireland the legal age is 18.
farhil 14
Maybe they moved from America to the UK?
StormDewleaf 12
I have a friend who calls her mother "mom" instead of "mum" because she likes the sound of it better. It's not unheard of.
Lanceeden 12
...are you trying to say they aren't real? haha silly numpty. Coal for you
AliCat18 12
wow i can see you are going to be one hell of a party animal! Dude you need to get a ******* life and stop being such a push over! you should watch for your mom to see when she drinks the rest of the "deadly" cocktail and then try force her to drink salt water, see how she likes it! if i can give you any advice: move out!
t765234 10
Yes, that is amazing advice (sarcasm) If you know NOTHING about the OP how do you know (s)he does not depend on his/her mother for financial support, you can't just magically afford a new place to live at any given moment because the one who pays for your house annoys you, please think before posting next time, an for those that thumbed you up, please think before commending someone for an ignorant comment Tl;dr: stfu
br33z39 0
Wdf
Lanceeden 12
WANK DA FAIRY WHERE DA FROSTING WIG DOG FAT WHO DA FLUFFY WHOPPER DE FANCY
muzy 23
no offence but your mum is retarded if she thinks you can get alcohol poisoning from one glass.
gabrielbaby 9
No she isn't. Your retarded for being uneducated. You can, depending on the type of drink, and how much alcohol is in it, or if it was spiked, also depending on the person, their age, weight, height, and gender.
AliCat18 12
44. your the idiot as 33 is talking about the fml where is says its a cocktail so its clearly not a bottle of vodka and its one glass in his own house to which i think it is obvious that it wouldn't be spiked. think the next time you comment!
gabrielbaby 9
Think next time before you comment, I was stating a true statement. It was all facts, I am not an idiot as you say. You, just as op had no idea what was in that cocktail, the mother seemed to know. She had a fit, meaning, it could have been more alcoholic than you think. Think before you comment next time.
muzy 23
I usually make it a point not reply to the comments of lesser minded people but in your case 44, I think I'll make an exception. Alcohol poisoning is a result of your P450 enzymes not being able to convert the ethanol into acetate. I tried to put it in simple words so that even you may understand them...
gabrielbaby 9
I'm not an idiot, I was making a point. There are other factors that contribute to that. Not to mention, their are diseases which does not allow a person to digest alcohol. One could kill. Also before you go attacking me and trying to sound smart, trying using real words, and correct grammar. Also some people do find retarded a very offensive word.
AliCat18 12
#44. ye you would be one of those who would be offended by the word retarded as im sure you have been called it many times!
quite_bored 9
You commented on his grammar when it is perfectly fine. Your diction and punctuation, however, is not. Also, he was using real words, and if you think otherwise you are as retarded as they say.
gabrielbaby 9
No, I have not been called retarded. But I do know people who have mental issues, as in autism, muscular dystrophy, ect. None of them, nor their parents find that word okay. Nor do I. It's a rude, uneducated word. Look in a dictionary to find a real insult. And no, the first comment, 22, had no punctuation whatsoever, making it wrong.
DocBastard 40
Holy ****!! YOU'RE both idiots for not knowing the difference between "your" and "you're". Now both of you kindly piss the **** off before you make yourselves look even more foolish than you already have.
j_cat187 20
Some races of people (native American) can get drunk very easily. There are also other people that have a medical issue where they can not break down alcohol on their own. Most likely, you are neither of those and your moms a bitch
AliCat18 12
# 84. i organise events for autistic children! and i do not use the word retarded on people as beautiful and special as them, i use it one idiots like you! get over it!
gabrielbaby 9
Wow if you can use that word and look at those autistic children then you have some issues.
gabrielbaby 9
91, thank you for pointing that out. That's what I've been trying to say the whole time. But whatever. And docbastard, thank you for pointing this out to me, I will watch out for that in the future :) (no sarcasm here, no lies)
Spike300 12
GabrielBaby, do you get mad at signs that prohibit the use of retarded brakes? Or other things that are flame retardant? You will find that it is in the dictionary if you care to look. So like that other fellow said; think before you comment!
KiddNYC1O 22
Holy. This is getting way aquard, guys.
DocBastard 40
Spike300, give it a rest. When people say "ur a retard lol" they aren't referring to flame retardant materials. It's a derogatory term that is meant to compare someone to a mentally handicapped person. Now I'm not one for political correctness, and it's just another stupid insult to me. But don't try to make it something that it clearly isn't.
iamyourgod 3
44 your a moron. Yes, if OP was a midget and drank a whole large glass of moonshine thinking it was a cocktail, he might get alcohol poisoning but I'm pretty sure this is never the case. And how would something spiked give you alcohol poisoning? It's not alcohol poisoning if it's a drug that poisons you.
muzy 23
Alright lads pack it in. I think #44 gets the message.
gabrielbaby 9
122 obviously you don't understand the way alcohol poisoning works. Try researching it, or having alcoholics in your family like I have. I've dealt with it before. Alcohol poisoning has many factors other than being a midget and taking a large drink. By spiked I meant extra alcohol, a cocktail is a mixed drink, by the way op's mother freaked out, she could have made it herself, or have been holding it for a friend. It could have has more alcohol than you realise. Also some people do have diseases that don't allow them to "digest" or break down the alcohol.
xeldawyn 14
98- that comment right there is more offensive to me than the thought of calling a friend "retarded". My brother is autistic but he is NOT retarded.