Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML
Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML
Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, I'm lying in a hospital bed with two broken leg bones, a reattached tendon, and four screws holding my leg together. Why? Because I wanted chocolate milk and some asshat didn't see me walking across the road. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
berichsoon 11
I'm not saying anything since you called yourself an idiot
sarahlouise0506 10
It would all have been worth it if you got that ice cream!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
ninjaniki 0
When the **** did we get ice-cream? Did you get ice-cream?
ambowew 7
Was I asleep?
CoolBreezeKing 8
Damn so that's what that line was for. **** I want some ice cream too.
FortuneCookie3 1
unlike a boss.
KnightAngela1109 10
I would sue and demand a lifetime supply of ice cream being it is the ice cream truck's fault for having such an enticing song.:)
LunaDragon 10
If it was for a Nutty Buddy then FYL, but if wasn't then YDI. Mmmm Nutty Buddy's :p****
metalcrazed 21
You can buy a whole package of Nutty Buddies at the store.
ambowew 7
But it's still a winning situation! After you get all stitched up the nice doctor will give you some ic- oh, wait, that's a lollipop. looks like you're still out of luck.
FMLshark 12
So, OP, what would you do for a Klondike bar?
eddeeezzyy 19
Now THAT'S what you call a bad day
iloveursister 4
tragic...
iloveursister 4
tragic...
mzrobinson 13
Shoulda asked for icecream at the hospital.