Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML
Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML
Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML
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Top comments
UsernameNotRandom 10
You can do it! It takes a few attempts.
Anderling 33
I can't tell you how many times I fell off my bike or bumped into a stationary object while learning to ride a bike. Those sign posts really do creep up on ya. And I was creeping up on mu teenage years when I learned to ride a bike. In consideration of your neighbors' property though, maybe you could pick a time when your street is relatively empty to practice, or maybe the middle of the street if there aren't any cars around? Either way, best of luck to you!
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Comments (5)
UsernameNotRandom 10
You can do it! It takes a few attempts.
Anderling 33
I can't tell you how many times I fell off my bike or bumped into a stationary object while learning to ride a bike. Those sign posts really do creep up on ya. And I was creeping up on mu teenage years when I learned to ride a bike. In consideration of your neighbors' property though, maybe you could pick a time when your street is relatively empty to practice, or maybe the middle of the street if there aren't any cars around? Either way, best of luck to you!
Ubehage 32
Never too late to learn. And yes, you will fall. Many times. Good luck!
RichardPencil 32
It's too late and you're too old to sustain many falls. Get an adult tricycle and be done with it!
protoskore 27
safety wheels are your friends