Today, it's our 32nd wedding anniversary. Two weeks ago I caught a cold on an airplane. Since I got back, she hasn't kissed or let me touch her. I'm still coughing. She says maybe it's not a cold, maybe it's TB. She's left to stay in a hotel until I get better or die. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML
Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML
Today, my germophobic girlfriend has tested positive for Covid, and is utterly convinced she's going to die. She's been crying in the bed for the last five hours, talking about how much she regrets her choices, and how she never should have spent her last year with me. FML
Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML
Today, the day after visiting my grandparents, I woke up with a sore throat and guttural cough. Once again, my mother neglected to tell me that she'd gotten cold symptoms after I saw her. Now I get to hope that she hasn't given me Covid again, and I haven't given it to my frail grandmother. FML
Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML
Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, it's one day away from my wedding and two days away from our honeymoon trip. Today is also the day that, after dodging it for two years, I got Covid. FML
Today, I spent all year avoiding COVID, colds, and flu. On December 30th, I caught the worst cold of my life. I’ll be ringing in the new year in bed, with tissues as my only company. FML
Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML
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Top comments
Nico Noppe 10
If anyone is able to prove it's not TB, I'm guessing it's a doctor. So, time to go see one?
RichardPencil 32
TB is a slow killer. The hotel bills are going to crush you before you die. You got that going for you!
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Comments (11)
RichardPencil 32
TB is a slow killer. The hotel bills are going to crush you before you die. You got that going for you!
Nico Noppe 10
If anyone is able to prove it's not TB, I'm guessing it's a doctor. So, time to go see one?
JasonThorn 23
It's been a couple of weeks? PAST time to see a doctor. In this situation, I would have gone by the second day.
Justine94_x 31
You would have gone to see a doctor for a cold/cough after 2 days?
sisoladra 20
or shes cheating....and needed an excuse to stay with her lover
bl3ur0z3 17
That's sweet. Have you seen a doctor? I have the flu and tried to keep my husband away from me, but he still managed to get it.
tohellwithlife 13
In sickness and in health, eh?
Richard Luna 1
I’m guessing no 33 for you
0neiros 14
Either report the card she's using stolen, or empty the account. Ghost her, Consult an attorney, CYA. there's something much more than germ-o-phobia at work here;