Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML
Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML
Today, as always, I get the hiccups ten times a day, sometimes more. They are very painful, and the only thing that makes them go away is water. The doctors have found no apparent cause. I hate my body. FML
Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML
Today, I fractured two ribs from coughing. My doctor told me to stop coughing, or I would fracture them more. I have bronchitis. FML
Today, I coughed so hard that I tore an intercostal muscle in my ribs. Now I can't cover my cough, as I have to cross my arms against my ribcage to stop the pain. FML, FML, F Me All Day Long (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells). FML
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
Today, after finally breaking my addiction to sleeping pills, right as I was drifting off to sleep at my first decent drug-free time in over 4 years... I got the hiccups. FML
Today, I've had a cold for over a week, and I've been coughing so hard, I bruised my ribs. I'm also 8 months pregnant. Guess where my son likes to kick me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
anon80214 15
Have someone show you the medical bills, that should scare you.
ManInTheMachine 20
Stand on your head. Jump up and down. Burp. Drink Ginger Ale. Hold your breath. Get scared. Drink water. Juggle. Yell. Breathe through your mouth. ...and by the time you've read through all of these stupid, inane remedies, you would've forgotten to hiccup. You're welcome.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (124)
catkat1988 17
Probably not the time and the place, but have you had a through physical examination with appropriate testing? I'm thinking that whatever cracked your ribs could've hurt your diaphragm, or the tissue or blood vessels surrounding it, which I don't know if could cause persistent hiccups. At any rate, hiccuping for hours with no relief isn't normal, and you might benefit from seeing a doctor. I don't know if they can give you something to make it stop, a muscle relaxant, maybe.
NeonPopRocks 14
Try forcing a burp after drinking water. Sounds weird, but it works for me....
dodzin 9
I would recommend to see a physician
skrillexFTW47 5
Plug your ears and drink water at the same time. Hiccups will immediately disappear. Works everytime, no joke. Sorry about your ribs.
ManInTheMachine 20
Stand on your head. Jump up and down. Burp. Drink Ginger Ale. Hold your breath. Get scared. Drink water. Juggle. Yell. Breathe through your mouth. ...and by the time you've read through all of these stupid, inane remedies, you would've forgotten to hiccup. You're welcome.
Pleonasm 36
Thanks MITM, I had the cold and this cured it, too! You really have an everything-remedy there.
TheFirstSamurai 18
Digital rectal stimulation, is the only known cure for hiccups, well at least that's what I remember from QI.
ShyAnn29 15
Digital rectal stimulation!? That just sounds very unpleasant!
TheFirstSamurai 18
It does, but apparently it works.
sierra142 19
A spoonful of sugar helps me and also bending forwards and drinking water upside down. That one may be hard with cracked ribs, however.
ICastillo 25
OP is injured so most these remedies would be painful. I'm not ribbing you he must be hurting. I'm not cracking a joke here because it would be a pain on the side. No. ok ill leave the puns to Pleonasm.
Pleonasm 36
I was thinking of writing some puns, but there was a slight hiccup in my plan. I have a bone to pick with you now, ICastillo.
ICastillo 25
Sorry there Pleonasm I hope I didn't rib you the wrong way for that.
Pleonasm 36
It's going to (inter)cost(al) you big time. That pun was a bit of a stretch, but I had to get it off my chest.
ICastillo 25
Sounds like a rib off to me. Ok that's all I have I'm done. I cracked under pressure....
mintfresh7 9
#48 - That's it, you have used up your three cracked rib puns. You are not permitted to crack another one.
tactically 1
I know that feel.
missababgaga 19
Goodness... Talk about a horrible combination :(
crazytwinsmom 25
It hurts because of the cracked ribs. Coughing and sneezing are extremely painful too.