Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML
Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML
Today, as always, I get the hiccups ten times a day, sometimes more. They are very painful, and the only thing that makes them go away is water. The doctors have found no apparent cause. I hate my body. FML
Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML
Today, I fractured two ribs from coughing. My doctor told me to stop coughing, or I would fracture them more. I have bronchitis. FML
Today, I coughed so hard that I tore an intercostal muscle in my ribs. Now I can't cover my cough, as I have to cross my arms against my ribcage to stop the pain. FML, FML, F Me All Day Long (sung to the tune of Jingle Bells). FML
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
Today, after finally breaking my addiction to sleeping pills, right as I was drifting off to sleep at my first decent drug-free time in over 4 years... I got the hiccups. FML
Today, I've had a cold for over a week, and I've been coughing so hard, I bruised my ribs. I'm also 8 months pregnant. Guess where my son likes to kick me. FML
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Top comments
anon80214 15
Have someone show you the medical bills, that should scare you.
ManInTheMachine 20
Stand on your head. Jump up and down. Burp. Drink Ginger Ale. Hold your breath. Get scared. Drink water. Juggle. Yell. Breathe through your mouth. ...and by the time you've read through all of these stupid, inane remedies, you would've forgotten to hiccup. You're welcome.
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Comments (124)
license2chill 5
Take a deep breath and hold it in hard, it works every time for me.
mercsl65 7
Try standing on your head. This is the moment you will tell your kids about.
niiccoolle 7
Eat a spoon full of peanut butter, that always works for me.
rosesong2494 3
You guys obviously don't ever see any of Noor's comments on FML and therefore do not understand her humor. She's joking. She knows that OP is in pain right now, she just jokes about it not hurting because, well, she's Noor. :) It's a joke not a dick, don't take it so hard.
parcheezy21 3
Drink a glass of water through a paper towel. It works every time
KiddNYC1O 22
Sounds intoxicating.
zebraumicornz 6
I feel your pain yesterday I had them for 15 hours straight nothing worked
Daederoth 10
Your breathing is erratic because of the cracked ribs, not a coincidence as your wording suggests.
KiddNYC1O 22
God bless your acidic tolerance, 56.
ChaoSKinG86 7
It cloud last years consider yourself lucky
Jordanln97 9
I read somewhere that a guy won a Nobel prize for saying that massaging your anus can cure it.