lex
United States
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
godhatesme
United States
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Lindsay
United States
Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML
SY5623
Edinburgh, United Kingdom
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Anonymous
United States
The void
Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML
walkingdictionary
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Toronto, Canada
Stumped
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
Anonymous
Denver, United States
Online predators exist in many forms
Today, some girl hit me up and was flirting with me over text. It turns out she was doing it for money and it’s been so long that I almost fell for it. FML
BigBall
Los Angeles, United States
What word was it?
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Proof-Reader
United States
Nice try
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
Alyssasgoneawol
United States
Today, I tried to flirt with some firefighters. They were too focused on the fire to notice my hints. FML
Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
She said coitus didn't she?
Cbizzlez 10
You must be auxin, because your causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
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Comments (98)
possy 19
It's sad that, that is what this world has become. It called common scenes!
HowieDoIt 21
Steven King's "It" called "common scenes?" I don't normally call people out for this but it's a well-known fact that if you insult intelligence, you should at least have correct grammar/spelling.
Pleonasm 36
I really enjoy people's misspellings sometimes. It's like: "How on earth did you possibly think it was spelled like that? In what universe is that even phonetic spelling?"
NicaLovesDisney 17
I really hope that #17's comment was a joke...
cetlawizard 15
I think you meant "common sense"
zack11742 7
Sounds like Sheldon from big bang theory
ophel1a 7
sheldon doesn't hit on ANYTHING.
crazytwinsmom 25
Dictionary phone app or online on their phone.
maz95 17
Oh I do hope you kept the confusion to yourself instead of worrying him with the lack of knowledge.
NessieMonster188 17
Learn the language of love, my friend
EpicSquishii 21
Come back to him with a saucy flirt in another language and redeem yourself!
shutupAnderson 7
Hopefully you got his number beforehand, there's nothing sexier than a literate man. (Ok maybe a well dressed man too..)
Acik91 26
I'd rather go for a literate one than the well-dressed one.
kurodansei 16
I hope the two are not mutually exclusive. I think you should strive for both.
TheDrifter 24
I thought they were mutually exclusive. All this time I've been searching for well read nude women and let me tell you, they're not easy to find.
HawkwindFan2016 8
Happy Valentines Day OP
whY402Jay 12
Terminology of the game has evolved drastically within the past ten years.
CaptTeemo 10
It's rude to look at your phone while talking.