lex
United States
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
godhatesme
United States
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Lindsay
United States
Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML
SY5623
Edinburgh, United Kingdom
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Anonymous
United States
The void
Today, I was trying to flirt with someone in a small bar. I thought they'd smiled at me, so I smiled back. Turns out, they were smiling at their phone screen. I just awkwardly sat there, smiling into the void. FML
walkingdictionary
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Toronto, Canada
Stumped
Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML
Anonymous
Denver, United States
Online predators exist in many forms
Today, some girl hit me up and was flirting with me over text. It turns out she was doing it for money and it’s been so long that I almost fell for it. FML
BigBall
Los Angeles, United States
What word was it?
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Proof-Reader
United States
Nice try
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
Alyssasgoneawol
United States
Today, I tried to flirt with some firefighters. They were too focused on the fire to notice my hints. FML
Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
She said coitus didn't she?
Cbizzlez 10
You must be auxin, because your causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
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Comments (98)
CrazyManNo9 29
Blonde much?
crazytwinsmom 25
No less rude than looking at a dictionary you pulled out of your purse or pocket.
picante72 24
Next time a woman offers you fellatio just nod and agree.
BabeWithThePower 5
Did he compliment you on your pulchritude?
BronayPonay 6
Thats some hardcore flirting going on.
friedbunnies 9
Wow. You put this on FML? That's the last time I flirt with a mere commoner...
KiddNYC1O 22
You will definitely need a thesaurus.
ChazzyWazzy1998 10
If it was a language translation dictionary then FYL, but if it was a plain English one then YDI for being so lame, I do feel sorry for you though OP
cannonman1863 17
Could be the person doing the flirting was trying to use overly obscure words to sound impressive to the OP
Satoaoi 13
damn. what a way to flirt