Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
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Top comments
Gift_fml 0
haha, thats funny
kingtz 6
1 girl 1 cup: the golden shower edition?
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Comments (131)
Dudelike89 8
I know when i piss in a cup, I make sure that a toilet is nearby just in case. Live and learn.
amyyw 0
why didnt you just move the cup?
Muwahaha_fml 4
Well, clearly, you failed.
jwallukwizard2 0
a mop might help. maybe
bowhunter7701 0
I would have "accidentally" stumped my toe and sloshed it all over his hand when he reached for it. but that is just me.
LaughterofCorn 4
well someones a wet blanket
GeneralMotors 23
if you are a man, this would not have happened
vita987 0
how old are you, and were was the toilet?
ohSNAPyall 27
Your cup runneth over - with DRUGS >:]
fadingaway 17
How did you get the pee all over yourself? Weren't you over a toilet/urinal? You know, where you can move the cup to the side and continue peeing. I don't think the doctor can actually insist they watch you pee. That seems a bit too far for me, I'd never let them do that. If it's mandatory, surely he can just check that you don't have any drug-free pee in your pockets and leave you to it?