Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a car accident on the way to work. I called my boss and told him I had to deal with the police and the accident report and didn't know how long it would take. He got mad and said I "should have picked a better time to do this". FML
Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML
Today, I called into work because I was too tired to keep my eyes open. My boss berated me over the phone, saying I should be more like that other employee who came in with a broken toe. That was me. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML
Today, on my way to my job interview, the man who was supposed to be interviewing me slammed into my car because he wasn’t paying attention. He fired me for raising his insurance premiums. I got fired before getting the job. FML
Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
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Top comments
mikedivine28 5
Free pass to show up to work drunk tomorrow..
InnocentLies 0
Can you quit that job?
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Comments (79)
jess6blondie9 3
Aww I'm sorry OP /:
sonusingh 0
I'm sorry 2
impregnator 0
I'm sorry three
baseballin25 0
im sorry 4
marinus_fml 20
I'm sorry, I'm a c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker :D
Pokeemon 3
Lolllzzzz
insanesna1l 0
op deserved it for not having the balls to stand up for themselves. If your boss is a prick then call them on it.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
That doesn't sound very smart insanesna, you can't call your boss a prick. You'll get fired D:
dre_bro11 12
Hmm, aren't you meant to be insured traveling to and from work by your work? Not sure how it fits in with the FML, but curious. :)
Frelling 0
50, only when riding unicorns powered by dream clouds and puppy dog sneezes. Trust me, I'm a supreme court judge in Candyland.
dre_bro11 12
51, that's clears up my judgement. Thank you for that. lol
aussie_gemini 5
50, not in all countries. here (i don't know where you are) I BELIEVE it's only certain trades as their sites change, i.e carpenters, plumbers etc. i am covered to some degree as I'm on the road allot, but not for damages to my car! hope that helps dude...
Mitcha857 0
somebody's got the case of the Mondays!
insanesna1l 0
I wonder if Monday workplace violence increased after that movie was released
notsocrazee 0
but... it's Tuesday...
InnocentLies 0
Can you quit that job?
Frelling 0
Unfortunately not, they are contracted for life.
TheNewGuy03 29
there's one way out of this. he can end his obligation, but only if he quits...LIKE A BOSS. |the kid|
mikedivine28 5
Free pass to show up to work drunk tomorrow..
CrazyDude19 3
win lol :D
askmeboutmyweine 0
i say go to work drunk and **** slap your boss.
Frelling 0
What if he enjoys it? Maybe he likes the ****.
insanesna1l 0
instant promotion
trollprideworldw 0
Well, I think it's about time for a new job?
mariazzz 5
hello handsome
Grimmerie 31
you rang?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Wow really? XD
heatherlorinxox 0
lol!
tammy0312 6
OP you should record your phone calls. FYL.
rarrar51 0
dude, OP missed out on a chance to take his boss's job. never cover for a drunky-patunky.
abceasyas123abc 12
Haha, what?? I'm going to add "drunky-patunky" to my vocab from now on!
ReynshineCutting 10
Lol me too!
Hopcastyle 3
Drunky-patunky? What the hell is that?
GTFL_Later 0
why do people slam doors at 2 in the morning. Antarctica sucks right now
ydi_4_suking 20
antartica always sucks
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
And you're commenting this to let everyone know that that was the time and reason you were on FML? O_o Were you under the impression anyone would care? :o
enonymous 9
Back in my day we would have still made it in and done our job and looked good doing it. Even if that means our horseless carriage was hit by a train and it made us walk 20 miles in the snow... barefoot, help a woman give birth half way to work, with 3 mountain lions chasing us the whole way.
cupcake01992 0
lol!!!
hockeyrocks39 0
hahaha and up hill the whole way!
Grimmerie 31
that's nothing. i woke up at one in the morning every day to drain the lake before i even got breakfast, which was hot gravel. then i had to refill the lake with my own tears, and walk uphill, barefoot, over broken glass in -200 degree weather, so i could get to school, where i was beaten all day long by arnold schwarzenegger dressed as a nun.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I used to NEVER sleep and consistently had climb up and down mt. Everest While holding 100 homeless people on my back, while my feet were on fire, and lived on whatever weeds or flower I could find off the mountain as food and my sweat as drink. :D
enonymous 9
42 47 you both are nothing. I sat through an entire episode of 'The View' sober and the remote control was gone... I didn't know whether to vomit or cry or find a long enough piece of rope.
TheNewGuy03 29
i just casually munch on freshly killed camel meat on my way to work. don't worry -- i killed it humanely. |the kid|
ReynshineCutting 10
Wow 48. I'm a woman and even I couldn't sit through The View. *bows down*
cptmorgan15 2
16, why did you use a horseless carriage when there were trains?
T3P33_fml 0
I listened to Rebecca black. and survived.